Lean back…feel your spine against the wall…only this time you don’t feel trapped by it. Your spine uncurls and is held by the large hand of sweet resistance. Soon it will feel safe to open your eyes again, to open your heart again, to taste the nectar you once knew…and be unafraid…to feel the blood rush back to your inner world, and nourish your new life…
I guess some could say crossing into a new year is arbitrary…an artificial new beginning. But not to me. And, of all years, not this year. I feel the waves of 2015 finally cresting, rolling in together now and resolving in layers of ripple effects whose messages are complete and who are finally free. I feel 2015 like a leaf connected only by a last tenuous bit to the tree, to what it once was, and ready to surrender to a greater adventure than ever. An adventure that begins with becoming the earth again.
Your new adventure begins now too, with 2016, and with forgetting how you knew yourself before and what you expected to come next. You are a ripple effect slowly disappearing with pure ease. Because pure ease is what you have asked to be able to remember. Pure ease, and trust. Trust that you will be reborn. And be reborn, in 2016, you will.
Because in 2016 you are going to shed a skin, and not just any skin, but the last most persistent one that has kept you from really knowing yourself more fully and freely. There have been other skins, and may be more to come. But none quite like this one. This is the year you release the burden you had given up on ever being able to leave behind in this life…the one you did your best with but that you finally accepted would stay. This year a firey liberation will unbind you in a flash of light and you will be able to breathe more deeply, like taking a deep drink of water you have thirsted for, deep inside, for years.
For some of you this has already happened, and for others it will come late in 2016…for most it will be somewhere in between, facilitated by transformational energies and astrological alignments and events that will unfold over the year. And by the time you are close, you won’t even feel impatient. You will be free-falling but you won’t be scared. You will feel peace again. Deep, deep peace. You will just be noticing. And noticing will be everything. There won’t be any more “trying” when you make it to this threshold. You will just be following the guidance in your heart and body, and it will feel so right. You will be riding the wave that has finally been freed to roll through you again. You will be throbbing with that pulse again, the one you have not been able to hear at the core of your being will suddenly rush back.
It’s okay if you want to run and hide because you are scared of what you will feel. It’s even okay if you do run and hide. As many times as you need to. But at some point you will start to simply move to it, unintentionally…freely…because it is your nature. And because we do not have to wait until we leave this earth to feel that again.
This is how it will begin: with another thinning of the veils. But before even that, the veils will become very visible. The veils that represent every less-than-true self image we still carry. That, too, may be scary. There may be moments of feeling lost or overwhelming shame. There may be difficult memories coming up, or crippling doubt. You may simply feel as if you are stumbling more than usual, or you may lose all hope. And some of you will feel none of that, and will simply glide into this new place. But before you feel afraid of which direction you will go, and what your experience will be like, a promise: the path will take you somewhere beyond all comprehensible beauty…and if there are dark patches they will only add to the luminosity of your soul. They are holding you, too. And you will get there, no matter what. You are an angel, and fallen or not you will fly again, and higher than ever.
My wings are broken at the moment, but I am not even seeking heights. I am so happy with my heart against the ground that I want nothing more. I feel the perfection in where I am, and therefore I am already free. I am flying inside. There are many ways to be an angel…your way, and living it in this life more than ever, is coming. Your way that makes you wake up feeling alive, and aligned, and in love.
Do you remember the movie The NeverEnding Story? Do you remember how the hero, Atreyu had to go through three great challenges, and the last was supposed to be the scariest? Nope, not the oracle sphynxes that could shoot lasers out of their eyes and reduce him to bones. No, it was the mirror…the mirror that shows you your true self. That was the one he was told was most sheerly terrifying and that none had ever survived. But it can be survived. I promise. You and I are that heroine/hero and the world we are saving is our own. I am not talking about the world around us, though that too will flourish ultimately as a result of what I am talking about…I am instead referring to the world within us. That is the world that needs saving first, and most…
We have generally taken our energy away from our inner worlds and poured it into the outer. But the inner world is where we need to reclaim our lush forests, our mossy knolls, our dreams. When there is warmth, and moisture, and light, and soft nights again inside, nurtured by care and atttention and self-love, we will thrive again, and the world around us will too.
So you have to ask yourself, what is the nourishment my inner world needs in order to grow lush again? Is it open time, or space, or a book you need to read, or more hot baths or laughter, or crying, or walks in the rain? Without a plan, without knowing how you would live this out next week or for the whole year, what does your body, your animal self, need or want right now? Right this second does it want to lie down? Does it want for you to kick off your shoes, or to feel warm water rushing down your skin? A deep breath? Does it want to eat something, or something hot to drink?
Find just one whisper and let it lead you, right now, to the first step back to nourishing your inner world. Let it lead you into 2016 and the kind of listening inside and small changes that naturally revolutionize your life. That lead you like a will-of-the-wisp into the enchanted forest that you belong to. Because I know you are tired of waiting for magic. And it is waiting for you now. Just step toward what you need, even in the tiniest of ways in each moment that you can.
So, first the veils will come up. They are coming up in order to fade away finally, but they are the gate keepers too. That just means they just need to be heard, but that doesn’t mean you need to believe them. In fact the more you can decide to hear but not believe negative thoughts about yourself that are clearing from within or coming from around you, especially right now, the better.
Then those heavy veils will begin to thin. They will blend and merge and play tricks with the light. You won’t be sure what to believe at all, and that will be perfect. Just keep your hands open and your back against the wall. Eventually as they melt away, you will melt too. Hard places will soften. You will cry. You will laugh too. You will wake up laughing. And you will remember what you dreamed…
You will take that dream, that now-unobstructed vision of your luminous authentic self you have glimpsed, and let it lead you into a new era in your life. Everything will change and you will look back and see that it started now. Everything you have been through has been preparing you for this. Trust me, you’ve done perfectly. Honestly I admire you, brave soul. This hasn’t been for the faint of heart, but neither are all the glories of truth, trust and love. The gifts that your heart, soul, and arms will be wide enough to hold…
Remember the veils are not really you. Remember when they are gone you will be left with only what is more true…more of the pure and holy being that you are and have always been. Remember to nourish your inner world. Do this by answering the needs of your animal body and letting it lead you. Every time you make the choice to nourish yourself some new part of your inner world lights up and grows new roots, new leaves, new fruits. Remember the dreams you have there will come to you here, and lead you into a new life. May golden ferns unfold at your feet as you walk into a new day, open, healed, free…
I love you.
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