Friday, April 12th, 2013

It was late.  I had just gone upstairs to my special room and let my body down onto my yoga mat.  It always takes courage to meet the floor that way…to meet with everything you are feeling so fully.  Everything throbbing in your heart, hiding behind the corners in your body.  It all comes out, and you meet with it.  And on days when you are sore, when either your body or your heart aches, and sometimes both, it is especially courageous.  It was once of those days for me.

The soft pink lights along the wall in my room took the edges off of everything, and I met with the raw feelings that waited for me, knowing that if I let them in they would soften too, and reveal their secret and wild beauty.  That’s why I go.  That’s why I’m willing to meet with my pain.  I know it has gifts, even if it takes a sweet and terrible wait, a torturous eternity, to unfurl and finally drop them in my trembling hands.  But aside from that knowing which helps me rub up against the burning ache inside again and again when it comes, there are other things that speak to me…that have always been the whispers in the Oracle’s ear.  Those voices can lead us back to the one that pulses, ever true, from our hearts, and guides us always to come from that place of home inside.

That night, giving up on my yoga mat, I had just sat down when I heard it, right away…an owl calling out to me.  It must have been in the trees nearby because it sounded as if it were right outside my window looking in at me…looking right into my heart.  I didn’t move.  I didn’t even breathe.  And then it came…another owl replying.  Breathlessly I listened, and there it was…a third owl, far in the distance, almost inaudible, joining in.  This is why I put tissues in my ears at really loud dance parties, I said to myself.  So I can hear the third owl…

And that’s one of my great secrets.  It’s one of the ways I remember and always have.  But it isn’t just my way, it’s the way we all remembered.  It’s a lost art I want to remind you of.  I want you to hear the third owl too.

Luckily I am not talking about your actual sense of hearing, so if you are worried because your hearing is not what it once was, or was never that sharp to begin with, don’t worry.  I am talking about something much deeper that can always be reaccessed, renewed and relearned.  Because it isn’t just the owls that restored my soul that night that beats strongly in my heart as I write you these words.  It was seeing the brand-new eyelash moon last night before it set, suddenly as if the magical realms I have known were suddenly made manifest outside the car window on my way home from the gym.  It was pure power, pure truth, pure memory that new beginnings are forever…are now.  It was the first time, leaning in to close my bathroom window in the darkness, that I heard the frogs this spring, and in a single moment my soul was revived…a deep underground water was brought to life and flowed in me where I hadn’t known I needed to be quenched, and I felt, beyond what any description could offer, the absolute essence of hope.  The promise that we are never alone, even though I hadn’t felt alone before.  That’s what the frogs were singing about.  It’s what they’ve been singing to me about every night since.

And it was, without any doubt, in the moment my heart skipped a beat because I heard the first buzzing behind me, sitting in the sun yesterday, and turned to find the first honey bee resting on the rosemary blossoms.  I felt its bliss, finding nectar, leaving pollen, such perfection in its quest.  Such redemption, such fulfillment, such ancient joy.  The same quest we have.  And I was transported, before I even turned to see it, to that cave on the side of Mt. Parnassus in Greece where I first remember living as a Bee Nymph, and the sweet-honey bliss of every moment.  The same sun shone on me and I was not separate from any of it.

What I want to know is, can you feel it?  When the moon starts to wax?  When she lets go?  When the tide is coming in?  Perhaps the tide of an ocean nearby, or another kind of tide somewhere in your heart?  Do you know when something lights a spark in you and do you let it start a fire?  Is it okay for you to burn?  Do you hear the owls because you have made a special space and been willing to meet yourself where silence and your real feelings meet?   And when you do, can you hear what the owls are telling you?  That everything is perfect and you are just exactly where you need to be on your path?  That you haven’t missed anything, or mistaken anything, or taken the wrong turn?  That spring will come for every winter that freezes your heart and numbs your body?  And do you know, when you hear the owls speak, that you will not be alone?  That others like you are waiting to step into your path just as soon as the moment is right?  And do you know that, as the owls speak to each other across the distance, you are the fourth owl?  You are not separate from them, but one of them answering too from your own ancient depths…

We were trained long ago to look away from the skies, from the earth and the trees, to look away from the truth resounding from inside, pulsing through our perfect bodies and calling from our timeless hearts.  We were trained by powerful means to look down, not at the earth, but at some book of someone else’s truths.  We were told not to trust ourselves, our all-knowing bodies…to look out, away.  I know when we look back there we may find pain, we may find a mess of crossed wires and neglected gardens.  But I promise that beneath that first layer, if we can stay with it, a wild forest of perfect beauty and true understanding still waits…has grown even more powerful and true.  And the owls know this, and the frogs and the honey bees…this is why we communed with them once…why the goddess rode with the owl on her shoulder, why the bee priestesses buzzed and rolled slick honeyed fingers across their bodies.  This is why the Oracles listened the the wind, and the babbling spring, and why the Sibyls listened to the sounds of their own voices coming back to them deep in the caves.  This is why the Priestesses of Dodona listened to the breezes through the leaves and stayed barefoot year-round.  Because if you keep feeling, keep noticing, keep listening, you can hear exactly what the universe is saying all the time.  Your heart is not a mysterious code you have to break.  It sings and you know the song.  You sing too.

Oh yes, sometimes you have to wait.  Sometimes you haven’t heard and owl, or a frog, or a wild storm…you haven’t felt a downpour or a windy sunlit day, or sat beneath falling leaves or a swelling moon in a long time.  But keep going anyway.  Keep going to the place where you meet what you feel.  Keep going to the place where you listen to what is said inside of you when there is no censor, no promise and no price.  Where there is only what is real for you in that moment.  Where there is only the ecstatic throb or the cracking glass of broken things, and whenever you can, go to the body, go to the ocean, go to the sky.  Go to the places you have been told not to.  Don’t try to be good, or spiritual, or somehow right inside…you already are those things.  You can’t help it.  Try to look in the places you think are forbidden, are wrong, and give them a warm place by the fire that never dies.  Try the path that looks unacceptable.  That seems like it might upset someone but set you free.  And move your body from that place.  Write from that place.  Be alone with the trees from that place.  Tempt the ocean from that place.  You have secret fire, secret diamonds that sparkle in a way you are afraid would burn the eyes of others, burn the world down.  But the fire we have been told to hide, deep beneath covers and snuffed out by blankets of shame and complicity and compromise…the world needs that fire.  We need that fire.

So feed it.  Give it the oxygen and fuel of your awareness.  Meet your naked body in the place where the owls cry.  In the place where the new moon is born.  Show up in the places where you hurt, and forgive yourself everything you could ever imagine needing to, and forget you ever thought you needed forgiveness.  Drop all your signs and all your promises to be small, drop all the postures you try to hold without breathing and step into the clear pool of nothing where everything begins when you don’t have to be something you didn’t create.  Oh yes, the place you end up in is the meeting point between heaven and hell.  The place everyone is so afraid of that they’d rather live in shades of grey than visit.  But it is the place of all possibility, of all creation, of all power, and I promise you that if you can get there, you will remember just what to do there.  It’s like riding a bike.  Once you get on it, once you get there, it all comes back to you.

Only you know what it means to meet your feelings right now.  Only you know what you have to walk away from, whether it is just an afternoon appointment you need to cancel so you can walk out in the sun and hear what your heart has been trying to say, or something much larger.  Make the space…whether it’s to sit alone in your special spot or just to lean in when you close the window, look out at the night sky on your drive home, or sit on that bench for a moment before you go inside.  Listen carefully.  Touch the fire and find out what places it burns and what you really, really want.  Not what you’d settle for.  Listen for the third owl…the one that you can only hear if you are so very open, so very still.  And be the fourth owl.  Respond in your heart and let it settle all the way down in, let it quench the place you didn’t know was thirsty.  And wait, soulfully, when you haven’t heard the call in a while.  One quiet night, a dark one, perhaps even when you are hurting the most, it will come again…

Love, Jennifer

Join Jennifer in her upcoming course, available around the world, The Thriai Nymphs: Lessons from the Bee Priestesses

Love this writing?  Hop on my email list to receive every new post!

Messages from the Bee Priestesses

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Thank you life, for putting honey underneath every shameful shadow in my heart, so that I would know I was doing the right thing when I found its sweetness…

Jennifer Posada, from “Three Promegranate Seeds”

It’s about to happen.  A miracle right in front of me.  Oh, I’ve known about it for months.  I just went outside and saw for myself the readiness, the coming…I’m ready.

Maybe most people wouldn’t consider it a miracle, or even notice it at all.  They wouldn’t see the brilliant flash of hot pink bliss that takes my breath away.  They wouldn’t feel the exploding joy of life rushing through them as the fresh tenderness unfolded before them.  But I do.  I know the secrets of the ancients and the enlightened ones…I remember when they weren’t secrets, and I want them to be secrets no more…

So I am going to share with you the secret of life, and I am going to open this secret with the example of the miracle of my peach tree.  The blazing streak of wild loveliness that marks and alarms the sky and surrounding trees with its beauty.  It makes us, me and the sky and the woods, speechless, and runs hot sunshine through our blood.  It cleans our hearts and lights our minds on fire, and I want to invite you into that world…that land of milk and honey within you.

Oh I am quite sure you have had glimpses, or maybe have even visited that land often…but like Alice or Dorothy, you may not know how to go back and visit your wonderland at will, or how to spend your life there…especially if it seems so very different, or even at odds, with this world.  The world most people still share, and believe to be the only one, when really we are changing and reshaping the world into something entirely new with our desires, our dreams, and our bodies.  Or, I should say, with coming to know once again the pleasure of our bodies.  It was left behind long ago, this real knowing as the heart of living, but it is the one essential ingredient to really experiencing and understanding love while embodied, to feeling connected to the larger love of the universe, to communing with the deepest self and the earth, to knowing joy.

Before we go any further I want you to know that I am not just going to fill this writing with fluff about the joy of the body and leave those of you who feel totally alienated from the joy of your bodies floundering with no useful ideas for how to find it.  I am going to give you the secrets I promised, right here from my staggering, deep-currented, ages-old heart.  Remembering further back than time’s beginning has many benefits, and I am going to keep spending the rest of my life sharing them with everyone who will listen.  It’s what I came here for.  It’s why I held out and held on for so unbelievably long to the remembering, carrying it and protecting it like an unbroken thread…so I could reconnect it with the spark in your heart and spread the fire of knowing again…so that I could tug on it and pull the ancient beauty we once knew and lived right here into now.  It’s made me damned good at remembering, despite what my eyes show me or how the world has changed, and therefore good at helping you to keep remembering too.  As we remember, who and what we truly are (love) and our mighty and truly divine power, we will watch the world around us come to match it again.  That is the effect of what I call in my book, The Oracle Within, “The Great Remembering.”

So, we begin with my peach tree.  It’s very small and unimposing, and just at the back corner of my yard.  You could almost miss it.  But for just about a week every spring when it blossoms, and lights up the world.  With it’s flaming hot pink blooms spilling from it’s small graceful branches, I am quite sure you can see it from space, glowing with a fierce beauty that defies gravity, that defies rationality, that defies reason.  It is quite simply, magic.  But it happens so fast, that if I didn’t know the secrets of the universe, I might just totally miss it.  We have become so rushed, so hurried and our plates are so full…and even more powerfully than that, we have been so taught not to see the magic within or around us that we just don’t feel anymore, don’t make time to experience anymore, or to be embodied.

Embodiment became scary a long time ago, when it was sometimes-unofficially but very forcefully outlawed.  It had to be.  It was the only way to shut down the most powerful force in the universe here on earth and usurp control of the human race…to force out the pleasure of the body and it’s attendant inherent knowing of one’s own power and truth.  It was the only way to topple the absolute self-love and self-reverence that come from it too, which was the essence of perpetual love remembered and everywhere.  It was the only way for those who wished for false power to stand a chance.  But that is old news.  False power is crumbling all around us and the world is finally ready for the cracked-wide-open realness we dream of in our deepest, most buried soul’s longings.

I want to tell you now about the deeper reason my peach tree’s hot pink blossoms mean so much.  Once upon a time magical beings lived on the earth, and some of those such creatures were the nymphs.  They were all-knowing, all-seeing, and what we would consider to be enlightened masters of the highest order.  But they didn’t sit in caves in the lotus position contemplating the universe and avoiding the “temptations” of the body, oh all the contrary, they made an art of succumbing to them instead.  You were more likely to see them rolling in the moss or reveling in the springs…quaking when the lightning struck and undulating with the ocean’s waves.  They knew existence to be what we would consider to be various states of orgasm, and they experienced this ongoing enlightenment by being attuned to their own bodies, their needs and desires, one another, and nature.  Most did have many lovers, but they weren’t indiscriminate.  In fact, you couldn’t even enter the physical area of a nymph if your own energies and intentions were not aligned enough to resonate to a high enough degree.  You literally couldn’t get near them without their energetic consent.  One had to be able to rise to meet them in some way, and then they would open the wonders of the universe to you.

And that is the power of what even one being who can allow themselves to truly find and know the pleasure of embodiment does for everyone and everything around them, whether the change is observable and instant or not.  And that also shows you just how powerfully being pleasurably embodied can change what you experience and draw into your life.

The trick, of course, is how to get to pleasurable embodiment when nothing much reflects or supports it in your life yet.  (Or how to get to another level of it when you have plateaued or back-slid a bit…)

To tell you about how to get there I’d like to now introduce the Bee Priestesses.  The original Bee Priestesses were nymphs, later followed by human women in their lineage (or bloodlines.)  Like other nymphs, these Bee Nymphs knew the ecstasy of embodiment…and just happened to love experiencing it in two special ways…with buzzing, and honey.  Like their bee friends, they too could feel the vibration of life pulsing through them, and actually create a physical buzz in their entire bodies, a buzz which manifested vast reservoirs of healing energy and sent them into galactic levels of oceanic bliss.  The transcendence created was beyond our wildest dreams, but not beyond our wildest, deepest soul memories.  We too have known this bliss.  As if the buzzing weren’t enough, the Bee Nymphs and Priestesses to follow could also enter profound, revelatory, earth-shaking states of ecstasy by ingesting various highly-alchemical forms of honey.  They lived in the true land of milk and honey.  The true garden of eden.  And they could eat whatever fruit they wanted.  Nothing was forbidden to them, for they knew their own bodies and came from the place of true love.  There was only endless creation, and beauty.

While I could go on, even fill books, with my thoughts and memories on this and their ever-unfolding meaningfulness, I’m going to come around to what you can take from this that will serve you right now, today, and for the rest of your life.  It all has to do with the honey.  The real honey is not about alchemical bees and long-lost healing flowers they fed from, and it wasn’t even about that then.  It is about the sweetness.  Something that has been relegated to candies and cheesy, saccharin greeting card sentiments.  Something that has been dethroned, belittled and cheapened.  Something that has had its power thwarted and hidden, a treasure only for the most steadfast and brave to find.  A treasure that lives inside my peach tree, but not just there…

It’s in every flower that opens its fearless marvel and unconquerable light to the world.  It’s in my cat rolling over to let me touch his belly right now next to me on the sofa, and purring completely uninhibitedly when I do.  It’s in the shot of blue outside my window in an otherwise hazy sky.  It’s in the promise of spring, the pulse of my heart, my sometimes stunted then suddenly flowing breath right now…it’s in whatever tiniest moments of joy we can find, or contentment, or comfort.  And we can find those moments, even if they are just soft punctuations at first in a sea of pain, even if we have no money for extra niceties, even if we have almost no time.  The truth is, if we can learn to recognize the sweetness in our lives, and let it in, and let our bodies really feel it too, our entire lives will ultimately change, and then the entire world around us.  But we can’t just allow it once, or once in a while.  We have to be diligent and courageous…we have to really ask ourselves where the sweetness is for us, open in new ways, and really allow ourselves to taste it in a world where we have usually been taught, even perhaps brutally, to do anything but.

In fact, since anyone can claim five minutes to themselves in a day, I’d wager that the amount of joy we could experience in that amount of time, once we are practiced in the lost arts and true power of sweetness…once we have found the secret honey in our lives that is the long-sought holy grail of the path to pure truth and full awareness, five full minutes of the bliss we can experience might be almost too much to bear, and the resulting golden glow it would cast on the rest of our day each day of our life would be enough to cast our life with the kind of resplendence the nymphs knew, and carry us gently through the rougher passages of all the more challenging experiences and feelings in our life that are so honorably and crucially beautiful a part of our ever-burgeoning wholeness.

I know well that so much of what others would consider to be profound intuitive abilities has simply to do with being perceptive, and willing to open ourselves to feel when we perceive beauty, magic, or pleasure.  It is the power of my noticing the one week of hot pink beauty in my peach tree, and not missing it.  It’s in my willingness to, no matter what else is going on in my life, slip outside in my bare feet for the first time on the still-cold, slick earth and be there with it…to reach my fingertips up to meet the impossibly-soft blossoms’ petals and feel life flow through me like a river on fire.  We can all feel this way…it’s just a lost language.  The lost true language of the body…and the soul.  Oh yes, we once knew them as one, and we will again.

This spring, be fearless.  (Or if you are in the other hemisphere please do rock the autumn instead.)  Even if you think all the honey in your heart and life dried up so long ago that all you would find is the grey dust of sad losses and lost chances.  Even if you worry that you never had any to begin with, or that it will cheat you or hurt you in the end to hope, or open or try.  Even if you secretly obsess that you are the one person who will never know how to feel good in your body, or feel this good.  Somewhere inside you, muted as it has been for most of us, the buzz still rumbles the deepest chambers of your heart.  The place where you still want.  The place where you still burn.  The place where you would still give up all your constructed safeties for love, and where you still believe in your wildest dreams.  The place that never dies.

Oh yes, be fearless…find the smallest taste of honey somewhere in the scatter of your hours and days.  Find a pure moment all your own to just listen…to the wind, to the rain, to the rustle of leaves and the songs of birds.  To the empty places and the fullness, to what your heart says when it isn’t being pressed upon by the demands of living the way we live now.  Cherish those first signs of the inner spring, and welcome the milk and honey inside that follows.  And then, despite all the voices that try to remind you what happened last time you ate the apple, drink it all in anyway.  Because what comes after the blossoms, what they really promise, are the even sweeter fruits to come.  They remind me that if I wait, I will be in that same place months later, beneath my peach tree with juice running over my lips and fingers, filling me with bliss.  And if you find the blossoms of sweetness wherever you can in your days, you too will be guided toward the most exquisite rewards of your soul and life, and reminded that they will, indeed, come…

Love you, friend…see you under the peach tree…

Love, Jennifer

Join Jennifer in her upcoming course, available around the world, The Thriai Nymphs: Lessons from the Bee Priestesses

For a perfect follow-up to this piece with more information about how to find the “honey” in your life, read Jennifer’s most recent previous writing, Letter to a Self-Lover

Tuesday, February 12th, 2013

Dear Self-Lover,

I don’t know if you have begun yet.  Perhaps you may not even know what beginning in this way means.  You have just found this letter, as if tucked into an ancient book you just came upon, and though you know the letter could be for anyone, it feels somehow as if it is meant for only you…

It feels that way because, though I am writing it on the date above, I am also writing it from long ago, and from a deep place within you.  I am just putting words to something your soul wants to say…wants you to know…to remember…

There is only one thing that makes a lasting, profound, positive change in one’s life, and that is love.  And there is only one way to get better at feeling love and allowing it, and that is from the inside.  The warm fire you long for at the hearth that is your deepest home is burning inside you right now, and if you have grown cold from its absence it is only because you have forgotten how to truly rest in its glow…and how to let that glow shine forth from you to illuminate every moment of, and every thing within, your life…

I want to tell you how to get back to that flame within of love.  I want to tell you how to wake there every morning, and rest there every night.  I want to tell you how to draw from that place to sustain you through every experience in life…the rapturous to the torturous, and how to transform all of it to gold by burning from all that you are.

I am going to give you that alchemical formula…the one that has been held as secret for ages, the one that has been sought in vain with endless campaigns…the secret to life.  But many people will still turn from it for one simple reason…it seems too unglamorous, too obvious, too easy.  It takes the bravest kind of soul to really see the path, for disguised by simplicity it may be but easy it is not.  However it is the very path to all that your heart yearns for, and all that one needs to take it is enough of a taste of the spark within to be drawn forward…to have that small light through every dark night until nothing can distinguish it…and you are free.

One could say that we are always on this path, and that the journey to self-love is constant and ever-unfolding…and that is true.  But the path I am speaking of is the direct path that we step onto the moment we start moving ourselves toward self-love consciously.  That’s when everything changes…so long as you stay on that path by remaining conscious with every step on it…by continuing even when you stop being able to see your way in the darkness, even when you forget who you are and where you are going and must come from a deeper knowing, even when you’ve given up everything you know…that is the moment right before you are going to break through to a bright new meadow of magic and truth, and beauty.  There may be more dark passages after that, but each one will leave you both more stripped bare and more fortified, and each will shape your life in new ways that support the radiant truth of your inner flame to burn freely.  And trust me, there is no better feeling…this is the return to true nature…the return to love.  There is a lot it has to burn away, and it hurts incredibly sometimes as that happens.  Sometimes we don’t feel the breakthrough or relief for an incredibly long time, but when it comes you are forever redeemed, forever liberated, and truly reborn.

To really accomplish this, you must do the unthinkable…and while you may think that means something like leaping buildings in a single bound, breaking some major law, or swimming from one continent to another, I am talking about that thing I mentioned that sounds simple but isn’t.  I am talking about making feeling good a priority in your life no matter what.  I am talking about making time, be it five minutes or five hours, every day, to do something you actually want to do.  I am talking about carving out time, even if you have three jobs or three kids, to do something that brings you back to yourself once each day as if your life depends on it.  I am talking about being willing to say no to some things, let some people down, rearrange your priorities, work through your resistance, remove the “shoulds” and expectations around how you spend your precious few free moments every day, dig beneath the ancestral shame and burdens, consider grand faith in yourself, and take a breathless leap into finding out what your heart feels and wants…every single day.  I promise you that while it seems almost trite, this isn’t for the faint of heart.

For in a way it is breaking a law to do this.  It is breaking the unspoken law we adopted a long time ago when pleasure was ruled out.  When we were forced, with our lives at stake, to leave behind our inner knowing and the answers and joys in our bodies.  It is that fear that keeps us still hesitant to put ourselves first, and that spell that we must break to enter into our new lives and the new world.

It is actually hard work and requires near-infinite diligence, like any great work of art or love, to find out what you feel like doing with a free moment, make sure you have a few every day, find out what you actually want to do with them, what would feel good, and then really allow yourself to actually feel good.  Just going through the motions isn’t enough.  You have to let it in.  You have to let in the love you have made room for in yourself.  It’s waiting there, like your own beating heart, to be felt.  But you won’t feel it or hear it over the din of a million constraints and requests, a million emails and chores, a million obligations and promises.  You have to carve out the moments of your own as if you were chiseling a tunnel out of rock, and show up every day for it even if at first it only leaves you with a horribly restless and hollow feeling that you want to run away from…or a deep grief about the realization of how long it has been since you really returned to yourself, or the pain of the recognition that you don’t even know what you truly enjoy doing anymore.

That is where you begin.  In the darkness of an unfinished tunnel.  But where you end is meeting up with the inner sanctum of your temple.  That’s where the tunnel leads.  And don’t worry that you may reach your inner sanctum with a feeling of terror rather than relief.  It is terrifying to see ourselves truly…even if only because we are terrifyingly beautiful.  It is terrifying because we will have nowhere left to hide from our radiance then, and suddenly we will know how to make the changes in our lives, day by day and step by step, to set ourselves free.  It is terrifying because we will no longer need outside sources of authority, since it will forever after that time come from within.  We will trust ourselves.  We will know we deserve joy, and to be able to feel whatever else we need to.  We will know there is nothing wrong with us, and when we really know that, there just isn’t anything we can’t do.  We trust everything that happens in our lives then, and everything that ever has.  We are no longer afraid of our power, and we are no longer afraid of love.

Right now you may be standing in front of a huge slab of rock, feeling like you have no tools and no energy to take on this diligent course, but if you lean against that slab of rock and place your ear up to it, you will hear your own heart beating deep inside it.  And every time you make even a little time for yourself and inquire what you could do that would feel good during it…even just for a few minutes a day that are all your own, you are moving closer to freeing your heart, beating as one with its voice and its wisdom, living your life in pulse with its pure joy.  We have protected our hearts for so long, and certainly with good reason, but the war on love is ending, and we are the brave souls who will step forward first unguarded.  Not as a strategy of battle, but because we’ve remembered what it is like to feel good, to have that infuse our lives, and that there is nothing left to fight.

I know even as you are picking up your first nearby stone and striking that big slab it won’t feel good right away.  As the first dust scrapes away you may not feel anything much at all, and as you labor on you may have times when you wonder whether you are making any progress at all.  Those are the moments to put your ear to the wall again and see if your heart sounds even just a little bit louder.  Because once you know what you are moving toward there is simply no other endeavor worth attempting.  This becomes the project you begin to turn to the moment you can every day, and soon feeling good begins to realign you with yourself, recalibrate you with your true nature, and inform every choice about your life.  At first the waves may crash against and crush other things you have built, and the destruction may give you pause, but you must let whatever needs to crumble, fall.  The energy you have spent holding those things up needs to come back to you.  You have better things to do with it.

And then one day you are going to get your first real feeling of it…of moving at the pulse of your own heart.  You are going to realize that you are realigning with its rhythm…  You are going to remember what it feels like to move with the animal of your body, and to speak with the knowing of your deep soul.  And once you have tasted that, like the purest nectar of heaven, you will know it unmistakably, and you will fall in love…finally and forever, with your self.  When that happens you will have a compass from that moment forward that will always lead you back to love.  You will stumble again, but you will know always how to find your way again.

I am writing you today, dear self-lover, from an ancient time and place within you.  I am writing because you knew you would need encouragement at this point in the path, and you placed this letter here for you to find now, long ago.  Your wisdom is sprouting like sweet madness all over your garden, and I can only dream of the blossoms to come.  All that the sprouts need is your loving attention…the time you make just to feel yourself and do what feels good, over and over again, day after day, until you return to the inner sanctum of your self-love…and then, your whole world blooms…

Love, Jennifer

Love this writing?  Hop on my email list to receive all of my best free writings, videos and resources to support you on your path!

Or work with me directly for the best possible way to deepen into this path with my upcoming course: The Thriai Nymphs: Lessons from the Bee Priestesses, available around the world!

Thursday, January 24th, 2013

My heart started beating a little faster as soon as I saw them.  And at the same time it was as if everything slowed down to this smooth, perfect pace.  That’s how it is when you are in love.  And I am in love with waves…

It had been two years since I had stepped onto that same beach, skin and body warmed by the sun, sunlight flashing in my hair, and waited…watching, looking out and listening, for the moment when the waves would calm enough for me to get into the water without being tumbled onto the rocks by the tide.  They always quiet at some point there, and it happens in cycles.  I knew that because I knew that place well, and had watched, and listened, and opened there before…

During our lifetimes on this planet at this very special era, we have the privilege and the challenge of experiencing some of the most potent transformational energies that the earth has ever known.  While some of them make outward shifts in our personal lives or on a massive scale, in many cases the larger upheaval occurs within us.  That makes these energies deceptively powerful.  Of course, by now we are almost used to getting uprooted, falling apart and together, being torn open and made raw, moving through dark nights of the soul, losing all sight of our former identities or personalities, and sometimes just plain losing our minds (or feeling like we are coming awfully close.)  Almost used to it.  We might be used to it if it didn’t keep intensifying…

I always refer to these energies as waves, and the good news is, like my beloved ocean waves, they move in cycles, and if you can get in touch with those cycles you can learn how to ride the waves, and even how to recover well when they crash you into the rocks…all you need is the ability to feel natural rhythms again, and your intuition.

But perhaps before I go on, as inspiration, I should remind you how good riding waves really feels…

After I wait and watch the waves for a while and find my entry point, I slip into the water which is only gently rolling then.  I move swiftly then past the point where the waves crest so I am ready when the big ones come again.  Once I am behind the place they crest I know I can just wait for the swells.  I only need to keep my eye on them as they arrive, to make sure I let go enough for the biggest ones to lift me, and that I am still behind the curl.  If I get ahead of the crests then the waves would grab me and twist me and throw me down, but I trust them because I have listened, because I trust myself.  I feel at peace because I am so deeply one with their rhythm, and because I have made a lifetime habit of feeling natural rhythms, my own rhythms, and following my intuition.  The waves are the embodiment for me of the throb and pulse of life…the same throb and pulse in my heart and my body.

When the bigger swells finally come they lift me up and carry me…and, like I knew I could as a child, I fly.  It’s pure, orgasmic bliss.  This isn’t just a bliss I feel in the ocean.  This is a bliss I feel a lot.  This is the story of what life is like when you can feel your own pulse again…your own rushing blood and beauty…your own heartbeat strengthened by the pulse of nature and the universe and love.  And if you haven’t felt that pulse in a while you will know it.  Things will feel out of sync, you won’t feel sourced, you will feel separate from your purpose and your connection to love, and you will doubt what is good.  But we are entering an era of joy and connection…that’s what all these transformational waves are here to support, (even if first by helping us destroy the old before welcoming the new by breaking down structures that would not allow in full love…) and what will usher each of us into this era is finding that throb from within again…letting it lead us, and source us, and carry us right into our bliss.

There are many things that come into play in order for us to unite with that inner pulse and be able to move at one with our own true rhythm.  Once, as Priestesses and Priests, and other mystics of countless titles, we knew this pulse.  We were in total harmony with it and our example helped others to also remember natural rhythms and find our own.  We can feel that perfect harmony again, lifted and carried by the waves…

Using the example of my ocean love, the first step is to choose whether you even want to get in the ocean on a particular day or in a particular place.  I would never get in the ocean if it felt truly dangerous.  What this step requires is asking yourself what feels right.  Checking in with your own feelings is an art, something so immediate if left unmitigated, but in our world where we are told not to trust ourselves, it is something we have to carefully make room for and support like a new sprout that needs to be nurtured to reach its blossom.  We have to make the time and space to listen to ourselves.  To get quiet, to reflect, to let everything else move aside for a while.  We need time that is solely ours, with no demands on us, whether we choose to share that time with another, others or alone.  We need this time out as part of our daily lives, and also sometimes may need to take a trip somewhere to totally get away from what we are used to and feel our own energy again in a new way.  If we live in a more urban area we may need to take very specific retreat time to be in nature, whether that means travel or a brisk winter’s night walk on the street under the stars.  It’s all about really noticing the stars.

They’re all around us in life, all the time…

When you’ve made that space you begin to find out what your inner voice is saying, slowly and if you show up for it again and again.  You have to be patient, and committed and open at least enough to listen.  The trust in that voice, in that heartbeat you’ve let become stronger, may also come slowly.  And slowly is just fine, because it’s worth waiting for.  It’s worth building, and having things crumble around…it’s worth learning new languages for and forgetting old ones…it’s worth relearning how to breathe, and how to walk, and how to make words.  It’s worth everything it takes and more.

Then, once you know when it feels right to get in the water, and when it doesn’t…when the moment feels perfect to move into it…that’s when you get the amazing and courageous opportunity to actually act on that knowing.  These are some of the greatest acts of self-love: really asking yourself what feels right, and giving yourself permission to make choices based on it in your life.  It means that after you are in the ocean you watch for the crests and get behind them and then, like your own breathing, you feel the ocean inhale and exhale, you watch and feel and match your own rhythm by paying attention to the energies and how they feel to you, and then you can surrender…then you are lifted and carried, then you are one with your own pulsing heart and that of the loving universe…

There’s another great act of self-love, and that is the one you can experience when once in a while you get thrown down by a wave anyway.  Either you didn’t really feel your knowing clearly before you acted, or you did feel it quite strongly and therefore believe that your knowing has steered you wrong.  The beautiful news is that it cannot steer you wrong.  Even if, as you are getting water up your nose, losing all control, being crashed down onto the earth and scraped along the rocks (we’ve all been there…maybe some of us even since breakfast a couple of times…) there is some reason, some gift we don’t know about yet.  Some hard place within us got broken, or some medicine was called for and released within us that will forever after that moment be accessible to us.  Some bright place opened up in a sky inside of us that we didn’t know was there before we crashed.  So this other great act of self-love is the one that allows us to climb back up off the beach, in our own gentle time, take really, really good self-loving care of ourselves, and trust, even as we also allow and honor our pain as fully as possible, that this was somehow meant to be a part of our experience.

The more we take that time I spoke of that we need in order to be with our own energy and reflect, the more likely we are to also be attuned with or open to the understandings and gifts that come from our wave crashes as well, further strengthening our trust in ourselves and the universe.  And of course there will likely still be days when you want to give up completely…when you have been thrown down so many times you don’t want to get up again.  The best thing we can do in those moments is to let ourselves feel whatever we need to, without pressuring or forcing ourselves to try to feel differently, and to be really gentle with ourselves and try to do anything that we can that feels good…even just a little bit good.  The feelings will pass like a storm in their own time and leave behind rain waters that will refresh everything, right away or in perfect time.  And when it’s just so intense you can’t even try anymore, in any way, and feel like you can barely breathe, focus on that…that you are still breathing.  Don’t worry about doing anything else but that little bit of breathing.  In and out.  Just be with that little wave.

Ultimately you can feel what I did returning back to the waves that day…in love.  In love with yourself and life.  You can feel your heart quicken and slow, and let your intuition guide you to a life that is filled with more joy, aligns you with your self-love, your purpose, your thriving sexuality, your most amazing gifts, the most exquisite relationships and experiences, and all the things your heart desires.  It’s been a long time since earth really felt that way, but I remember when it was that way for everyone, and I know that though the path may be extraordinarily rough sometimes and we don’t know how long it will take to get there, that’s where we are headed again.  And though it may take a long time for the earth to arrive there all together, many of us will be ahead of the wave, and we don’t have to wait until then to enjoy the ride…

Find out what makes your heartbeat quicken…take time away from the pressures in your life to find out what richness is happening in your heart and what it wants to tell you.  Find the situations that make you feel the pulse of life rushing through you and let yourself really feel it, let yourself be led by it, and return to those situations and activities often.  And if the waves throw you down sometimes, don’t let it make you think there is something wrong with you, brave soul.  I admire your courageous heart more than I can say.  I am honored to be on the earth with you right now, and to be out there facing the ocean of soul.  May the stars in your sky twinkle extra brightly tonight, and may the waves guide you ever home.

Love, Jennifer

Want to increase your intuition and have a little help being drawn back to the pulse of your heart?  Join me in my upcoming course:  The Oracle Course: The Essential Course in Intuition and Vision  It starts Monday and there are just a few spots left so jump in now if your heart is called!

Sunday, December 23rd, 2012

We’ve never been here before.  This exact, fresh moment in time.  But we’ve been somewhere very similar.  It was a really, really long time ago.  We were on our way, our whole world, into a huge dark cloud.  We were on our way into what I call in my book, The Oracle Within, “The Great Forgetting.”  Back then the forgetting had already been underway, but at the moment like this one we hit a massive wave of it.  Just like this time, only now we are headed the other way…into what I call “The Great Remembering.”

I know on the Solstice, the date of the great Mayan shift, some of you were disappointed.  Some of you didn’t feel any great new energy descend into your lives or the world.  Some of you were just plain tired that day (I heard that from a lot of people) or found it anti-climactic.  I am writing this post today because I have some information that I think will really help as we go through this change.  After all, I remember the last one, and all the incredible points of shift in between.  I’ve seen cities fall…worlds disappear.  The crucial point I need to make about this time is that all of those things are indeed happening again this time…they are just happening within.

The cities that are falling are the ones you built up around your heart to survive the forgetting.  Even though, for the most part, these crumblings will occur within, it doesn’t mean they don’t sometimes come along with the same potential feelings of trauma and grief.  And it certainly doesn’t mean that we don’t need the same level of support and self-care.  We need it now more than ever.  We are about to bloom like wildfire-roses…we are about to shock the world with our color and our fury…we are about to break open like a million oceans and find out how to finally speak of what’s beneath.  But we are being born into new space so profoundly it’s as if we have to find a new way to breathe…a new way to be, while all around us things look the same.  It’s just that day by day, we’ll notice that it may look the same but it doesn’t feel the same anymore.  This was never going to be an overnight change, but if you get to where the air is clear, you will catch it like a fragrance.  Like the smell of the first flowers in the springtime, you will suddenly find yourself stunned by it one day when you were just walking through the cold winter air to your car.  And you will know it then.  You will know the change is really underway.  It’s one of those things you can only feel now if you venture out on a really quiet night…out in the silent darkness, and get down on the ground and put your ear to the tracks.  Far away you will feel the softest rumble…like the roar of a distant ocean…the train is coming….

And don’t worry.  You can’t miss it.  In fact, you’re here now…that means you already didn’t.

After all we all made this great big date together a long time ago.  All we had to do was show up…and we already did.

So, while we wait for the rest of the shift to take place naturally, and take absolutely intensive-level good care of ourselves, acting with great love and gentleness toward ourselves as we go through the inner shifts, there are a few things that may help us along.  As I felt this portal we’ve just passed through it reminded me so much of that ancient time when we passed through it the other way as I mentioned before, into The Great Forgetting.  It was like one was almost a mirror image of the other.  That’s because each way it was the same kind of shift, just in another direction.  (It will take a long time for us to completely understand why the forgetting needed to happen, and for it to more completely end.)  It is like passing through the other side of an eclipse, or coming back through the looking glass.  These intense shift points have signatures, and these two points just happen to be sisters…twins.  That means a lot of the things that happened then are likely to be mimicked now…we will relive them in order to resolve them, like we do with all unresolved past life material.  We just happen to be doing it with that very specific shift material right now.

Let me give you some examples.  Back then, the temples fell.  They fell inside first.  Inside each person and inside the infrastructure of the people involved…the sisterhood and brotherhood.  As people forgot, they began to turn to false power to fill the void left where they once knew they were love.  It was the great heartache of the worlds when people forgot they were love.  So you may find that certain relationships are shifting now, that you are having new insights into them, or finding out where there are people in your life that are not who they seemed to be, or who are gracefully or not so gracefully bowing out of the picture.  Old group structures, teachers, sisterhood/brotherhoods, may fall away and though you may find yourself flailing around about it for a while, whatever you are truly led to shed now will open up new energy and leave new room for more of your authentic self to flourish and be freed up.

Also, like before, it is good to be aware that this is a time when the veils are thin, and when psychic permeability is at a peak.  That means it is easier than ever to go someplace or have an interaction and pick up on the energies around you without realizing that it isn’t your own.  The simplest cure for this is time on your own doing something you love.  It will clear up for you what is your own energy and what isn’t.  You need time to reflect, and time to nurture yourself.  This psychic permeability can also make us feel sort of “haunted” by old ghosts.  They are simply “guardians at the gate”…they are there because you are stepping into more of your power and those energies are coming up to be cleared.  When they come up we are being challenged to look them in the eye, tell them there is no place for them in our energy field anymore, and walk on across our new threshold of risk and true empowerment beyond them.  We always encounter these guardians at the gate when we are about to take a bold step into more of who we really are.  They come up so we can say goodbye and truly take our place at the banquet table of our lives for the abundant feast we have newly realized is available to us.  It is time to say yes to ourselves, yes to who we are, and everything else be damned.  We have tried it every other way…trying to please or suppress others, trying to get answers and approval outside, and it has only led us to destruction and a world mostly full of lost souls.  The only real answers are within.  The only way we can ever really offer others our gifts is to give them to ourselves first.  We need radical change now, not just empty words to sustain false securities.  It’s a new world and it will be built on our true, raw desires and our willingness to take a chance on them.  Oh yeah…I said it.  I think I’m even gonna say it again…just in case you didn’t really hear it…

It’s a new world and it will be built on our true, raw desires and our willingness to take a chance on them.

Yeah…I know you are probably tired, and maybe scared, and you’ve already been taken apart and put back together so many times that you no longer have an envelope left to push.  You may not know what to believe anymore. That’s fine.  Perfect even.  You can start with just the moment..each moment that comes, and find out what you believe, from the new, fresh place of giving up…of the bottom, of the bare floor.  It’s a start.  That’s all we need.

Forget everything you know about what’s coming.  Forget everything you’ve heard about what the changes are or mean, or what the world will become or won’t.  Forget what you think you know about your future (unless you’ve already fallen in love with it…)  You can even forget this after you read it.  Forget all that and just feel whatever is under your fingertips.  Feel the air move in and out of your lungs.  Ask your heart what it beats for.  You will likely have forgotten why you weren’t going to do the things you really wanted to…”Why was I holding back again?”, you’ll ask yourself, “What was it that I had to lose?”  Like poet Mary Oliver suggests, just consider letting “the warm animal of your body love what it loves.”  And like Anais Nin you will soon realize that for you too “the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud, was greater than the risk it took to bloom.”

And then you might even find yourself getting up off the couch in the nightie-top under overalls you wore all day and busting a little groove to the Justin Timberlake you are listening to while you write a modern-day Oracle prophecy about the coming of the new world…oh wait…that’s me.  I can highly recommend it, though.  (Whatever the equivalent is for you of busting a move in your pjs while rocking the world with your real stuff.)  And really, you know, what goes around does come around (referencing the Justin Timberlake song I am listening to)…and I’ve waited a very, very long time for this coming around.  Finally, so long after our wings were clipped, we are going to be free again.  I saw back then that this time would come, but there were times I had waited so long that I almost thought it never would.  It was, more than I can ever say, worth the wait.

So things are going to look the same for the most part.  But don’t be fooled.  There is something different in the air, and day by day you may ever-so-subtly be able to feel it more.  There will be more and more support for the breaking-wide-open of old paradigms and the welcoming in of new love-based shifts and ways of living and being.  Day by day, though there will still be the harder times where we are going through specific growth periods, we will start to feel less and less like we are swimming against the tide, and more and more like we are being carried.  And when we don’t have to spend so much energy treading water, we are going to realize that we can start to really live again.  Because really living is your best fantasy times a billion.  Really living is something we’ve forgotten how to do…like really feeling…like a lost language.  We knew it when the world began, and in this life when we were first born.  And once we are more and more surrounded by it, we will remember how to speak it again.

It’s the language of the heart, yes.  It is also the same language of the body.  That’s the most important thing we have forgotten (since it was actually systematically wiped out so those with the biggest love-voids could temporarily overpower everyone else)…that the voice of the heart and the body are one.  That spiritual and physical are one.  That holy and sexual are one.  That the senses are the gateway to all knowing, just as much as anything like a chakra or third eye or vision is, and even more so.  When we have the true vision of the body again, there will be nothing that we can’t do.  Hello Sexy, and welcome back.

(Okay I just can’t help it…I’m not even listening to that particular song but it looks like it’s not just Justin Timberlake bringing sexy back!)  So, what do you think Gorgeous…wanna help me bring sexy back?

Because we once all knew just how much the sexual was sacred.  It was the cornerstone of our reverence and our celebration.  It was the glue of all life and connectedness.  It was the symbol and the embodiment of pure love.  We weren’t confused about it at all.  We knew right where home was, whether shared with others or just on our own.  Whether we used our hands or felt it all while walking in the woods.  It was just right there.

It’s time for the body to feel like home again.  It is where everything will finally come together and all that didn’t match up will finally align.  The disjointed places in life will suddenly run smooth and those answers you’ve always looked for will just flow in like water.  It’s where the missing joy emerges.  And then, even in the hard times, it carries you like a sail through strange waters, and holds space with you like a candle in the heavy darkness.  You…bright flame…I am talking to you.  You who might have given up on things ever really being like you dreamed they would or could.  You who almost gave up reinventing yourself, or trying to read the cloudy compass of your desires.  You who is going to remember the way by starlight.

I wouldn’t try to do anything right now.  See if you can just give yourself the space to breathe and be.  To sit, or move, but not have the perfect plan.  Just an open hand, or two, and your gaze on the stars.

I love you.

Love, Jennifer

Get back to the body and your inner knowing with Jennifer in her newly-released courses for 2013:  The Oracle Course: The Essential Course in Intuition and Vision, and The Thriai Nymphs: Lessons from the Bee Priestesses, available all over the world.

Sunday, December 9th, 2012

I know it hurts.  You have stretched beyond what you thought you could…your skin is paper thin, and your bones ache from the pressure it has taken to grow beyond your original design.  You have become something more than you ever knew you could…even at the birth of your soul such a very ancient time ago…just a moment ago and a time before time…a soul’s dream ago and a reckoning away, yet.

For we won’t know the beauty of the changes we have made until the storm passes, and right now though we have felt it’s early rumblings and wild flurries, we are just seeing the heart of it looming on the horizon of our being, and of the world.  We’ve already been destroyed.  This isn’t our first storm.  Not even close to it.  We’ve already been torn apart, and sometimes may feel too tired to even find the pieces of who we were…it has been exhausting us and we are finally giving up.  Only in this act are we now finding that we don’t even need the pieces anymore.  We just need a thin breath, a heartbeat, and now…

We are in the midst of the greatest transformational time on our planet…the birth of the new world…and we have undergone so many labor pains already to get to this point that we can’t even push anymore.  We are wondering what’s wrong with us, judging ourselves harshly for not trying harder, not being stronger, not having any more answers…giving up.  When really that is just what we are meant to do now.

Oh, don’t worry…this kind of giving up doesn’t mean we have to let go of our dreams and hopes…though that may happen as we shed like fall trees all the last leaves of what is old and no longer needed when we walk forward, naked, into our bright new day.  We may molt those dreams and desires that are not shiny enough to reflect the stars…to hold fire.  Those need to go so we can make room for what is better that we haven’t even imagined yet, or dared ask for.

We know this inside…deep inside.  But the voice from that place is muffled.  It is buried under all the hopes we had last time the storm passed and we thought the clear skies would open up right then and welcome us into feeling fully at home in our lives and our bodies again.  All the hopes we shoved down when that didn’t happen, or when that peace and joy only visited us for moments…teased us before being swallowed up by the next place of challenge and change.  Some days are better than others…some days we aren’t sure this change is even leading us anywhere wonderful at all.  We spin and our compasses are useless.  But that is what storms are for.  To throw us off balance and make us find new ways of moving inside…to push us to break through and let go.  And we, who chose to live in this time, are some of the bravest of all.  We are the surfers who saw a wall of a wave coming and said yes…I want that one.  I want to ride that one.  It might throw me down and break me a few times, but when I ride it, it will be the greatest feeling of them all.  I will, finally, be totally free.

And after all…since you have been through it all already, what’s one more storm?  You already know what to do.  You know when it is time to climb down below decks on your boat and curl up in the blankets while the wild waves rock you, and you know when to stand at the prow of your boat and dare it to find you…because you know the fierce and wiry will you have found on the darkest nights.  You know the place that can’t be shaken even when you don’t know yourself at all anymore, or you will soon.  That is the beginning place.  That is where we touch the throbbing heart of the universe, and start new.

But I know you may not feel that yet.  You are still in the midst of the whipping winds and rising waters, rushing over everything left in your heart and washing things away faster than you can decide if you want to let them go.  I know the stir is enough to make you crazy, though on the good days you can hardly feel it at all.  But while you feel all of this, and wonder if it will ever be worth it all…if it will ever all be redeemed, I want to offer you a new picture of how beautiful you look right now…

You are like the woman in this picture.  Chained to a rock wall while the ocean is rising and the winds have disrobed you completely.  Your compromised position is the gift.  It is the place that tells you there is nothing more to do…nothing more to try for.  There is only one path left…surrender and trust.  Let the ocean come.  Find out what happens then.  Leave it to the deeper wisdom of your soul…leave it to your own wise fate.  You showed up…that’s all you needed to do.  Now just let go…just surrender.  And then, like the woman in the painting, your face will be lit with grace.  And everything will be perfect just as it is.  And only good can come.  And you, like the birds in the background, will eventually fly free.

Just wait.  It’s all happening perfectly, and you’ve done it just right.  Just wake up each morning and face the day, putting one foot in front of the other…without answers, without a plan for how to make it all work…for how to make it all feel okay again.  It isn’t time yet, but it all will come.  Let the ocean have you…it will only give you back everything you’ve been missing…even the things you forgot you needed.  You’re going to wake up one day soon and be able to breathe again…in a way you didn’t know you could.  And you will notice that, in their own time, the skies opened up after all…

Love You, Jennifer

Fly free with Jennifer in her newly-released courses for 2013:  The Oracle Course: The Essential Course in Intuition and Vision, and The Thriai Nymphs: Lessons from the Bee Priestesses, available all over the world.

Eclipse Energies Message, Fall 2012

Sunday, November 11th, 2012

This is the moment, knees to the earth and toes in the mud, to say it…

This is the moment to ask for what you want.  This is the warm, wet mud to plant seeds in, even if only with small and whispered words in the dark night.  This is the moment to acknowledge whatever your heart wants now…not what it wanted last year or yesterday, but right now on today’s fresh horizon.  This is the moment to ask for what you want now that the storm has passed and washed you clean of the old ideas about your life.  This is the moment in the aftermath to find the golden pearl of what was untouched, glowing and whole…to find the deepest desires your heart has ever known…

About a year ago I wrote a prophecy message about this year and the most essential part of it being your heart’s desire.  I said that it is the desire in your heart that will birth the new world.  Now, with this month’s two eclipses, November 13th and 28th, we usher in the most powerful time of this prophecy’s unfolding.  Everything that has happened this year thus far has been leading you to this window in the next several weeks through the end of the year, where your heart’s desires will be revealed to you.  You may not know them yet.  You may feel far from desire or a willingness to welcome it.  But you will know.  It has been building like a far-off wave that will suddenly rise before you…huge and unignorable.  What I will suggest for this time of eclipse energies, swelling toward the Solstice and Mayan shift date on December 21st, 2012 is twofold…one, ask…wish upon a star, to really know what you want next, and two, when the wave comes…don’t run.  Let it rush over and consume you.  Become a part of the ocean again.  It will nourish you and lead you down your next path.  It will be your own energy enveloping you, and you will finally feel yourself again the way you haven’t in perhaps many years, or even many lifetimes.

Eclipses are always powerful portals of transformational energy, and in this case they are ramping us up toward December 21st, opening new levels of awareness and revelation to us to prepare us for that time of great change within.  I recommend making the most of these supportive energies by taking time in the next two weeks to do some reflection.  If you are able to, you could take a short retreat in a beautiful, natural environment to do this, but if that is a luxury right now there are many other equally powerful ways to do this.  One is to make sure you have an hour or two to yourself at least once during this time, preferably twice, and simply spend it really focusing on what you desire right now.  Write it down, or use images or draw pictures.  But whatever you do, really search your heart.  Don’t just jump to old conclusions about what you want.  Press the edges and find the places of deep longing that you may have shut off or given up on long ago, or perhaps have never visited because you imagined them impossible or too grand to accept.  Touch the sore spaces of yearning and find out what they want to say.  Maybe they need to sing or cry.  Maybe they want you to write about them, or paint about them, or move your body in their name.

And if you don’t have two hours or never end up making that kind of time, there is another option.  Just wait for that starry night or soft, glowing moon and ask to be shown, right in the midst of your daily life, exactly what you need to in order to open to what your desires might be wanting to tell you, or where they want to lead you.  They know a secret path you haven’t seen yet, and that your life feels empty without.  If nothing comes and you are drifting in desire-less waters, just wait.  Be as soft as you can with yourself and get close to the sound of your own heart.  It will speak to you eventually, when the time is right.  And you will be ready.

If your desire is something you fear, you are likely in just the right place.  It is time to embrace the desires that push us to those places that scare us, stir things up and bring in new paradigms.  We cannot create the new world if we cling to the old, and despite all our worries, at the deepest level we have nothing to lose.  Everything we will shed we will be so glad to be free of.  The watered-down versions of our desires will only hold us back.

The key, the one we have been searching for endlessly, is right there on the table where we’ve been afraid to look.  The one with the red velvet covering.  The table we were told not to go near.  The key we thought couldn’t possibly fit.  It will open all the doors but we must be willing to claim it…to make it our own.  We must dare to know our own passions, to simply, when they approach again in the dark, cold night, open the door and welcome them in.  That is all.  And knock again, they will.

Just nestle into your favorite chair by the window, pull on your fuzziest blanket, get out your notebook or sketchbook…and dream.  What if the future were beautiful and bright?  What if you deserved every bit of joy you could imagine?  What would you ask for?  What lights you up inside, and makes you tingle?  Reach as far out as you need to…out on the limb where the fruit is sweetest.  Dare to trust enough just to even peek through the silk fabrics around your heart…dare just enough to see what is illumined within.

That way when the boat rocks and you begin to wonder what you are even doing as the shifts rumble across the planet and through your heart, you will know exactly where that light burns, and how to come from that place as you are born anew.  Can you handle the thought of having the life you actually want?  The thought of dreams coming true?  Is it more scary than the thought of things staying the same?  It’s okay…you can take your time getting used to these ideas.  Though they are of our home and true nature, we have been so long out of those waters that we have learned to breathe on land and are perhaps afraid we might drown.  So if we don’t want to run from the waves, we can start now preparing by just putting our toes in the water…wiggling them around…deciding maybe that isn’t so bad…that maybe we could learn to really accept feeling that good again after all…that we really could feel right in our own skins again, in our bones, right in our bodies and right in this world.  That there is nothing we need to be punished for, and that we could be cherished instead.  Cherished by the loving universe, cherished by others…cherished by ourselves.

I love you.  I see you, shiny star.  I know you will find that flame that burns through everything that would dim or hold it back.  I know your heart’s desire will carry you through any storm, and help reveal to you where to safely let your foot fall in the dark night, with each step.  I know your ray of light will illuminate the world, a world you can belong to…a world of joy.

Just make a little wish upon a star…any wish…just close your eyes and ask…

Love, Jennifer

Read Jennifer’s related 2012 Prophecy Message on heart’s desire Here

Want help finding and embracing your heart’s desires? Join Jennifer in her upcoming Course, available all over the world: The Five Egyptian Oracle Empowerments, starting on an eclipse date and ending on the Solstice and day of the Mayan shift!  Click Here to Read More or Register…

Saturday, September 20th, 2012

I want you to know that I know what it is like…always standing on the fresh edge of a cliff.  Always standing between the worlds.  Always waiting for the subtle signs about when to hold on, knuckles gripped, until the right moment to let go, completely and without restraint.  I know what it is like to have to be very good at both.  To have to be, not for actual survival, but simply because you are a person who does not avoid feeling…who does not or cannot.

You can’t tell by looking at us…we who are this sensitive…but we are as alien in a land of numbness like this world still mostly is, as we would be if we had big green heads or three eyes.  Yes, most people can’t see it, just like most people can’t see nymphs and fairies, but we live in an entirely different world.  We are fully alive, we lean in even when it hurts because we know there is some treasure there we will never find if we avoid it, everything is vivid for us.  We are technicolor in a world still mostly viewed in black and white.  There are other dimensions and landscapes for us, and sometimes we are alone in them because no one else wants to see them yet.

These gifts once made us Oracles…conduits between the land of the seen and that of the unseen…but not primarily because we could have visions or hear voices.  That was secondary to, and actually a result of, being able to deeply feel.  There is nothing that takes more courage, nothing that has a higher cost, and nothing else that has greater rewards than any cost could touch.  For only when we deeply feel can we find our truest knowing and remain connected to it, letting us be guided through life in the most natural and authentic way possible.  Only then can we really know we are instruments of love, and what that really means.

These gifts of sensitivity and feeling still make us Oracles.  And there is only one threshold we must cross to more consciously become this Oracle that we are…to fully access this knowing.  The crossing of this threshold marks the difference between being tossed about on an ocean of hypersensitivity, or in a similarly lost way gripping the wheel of our vessel of numbness, compasses spinning…and the grace of a walk through life embodying our true power.  That walk of grace might see us pass from the underworld to the heavenly bliss and back again many times, but with power and wholeness and triumph.  All is perfect either way and only leading us back to ourselves ultimately, but the crossing of that threshold is like the discovery of stars in a once-dark night.  You are never the same.  You become an awakened Oracle present on the earth once again, you become one of the Oracles who are returning.

This threshold that you cross is your fear that you are not enough, or that you have done wrong that would keep you from living a life of beauty and joy.  It is a fear that you do not deserve or somehow have not earned the gifts of pure power that have always been yours.  It is a fear of being alone, of being too much, of being outcast or worse.  It is a fear born at the time when you were first threatened for being too beautiful.  Because every single one of us is stunningly beautiful when we allow ourselves to really be seen.  I know that it can be so bad, that fear, that we’d rather live a half-life than ever face it.  But it is only a shadow cast by something precious you are about to reclaim, that happens to look scary from where you are standing.  When you are ready, though you may feel like you are facing your death, you can just walk right through.

I just want you to know that I understand.  You see, we once had a world that was structured to support these gifts.  A world that was designed to allow us to experience the fullness of our emotion and sensation with relish and abandon.  Since there is no longer that context, and indeed a structure that discourages us from nourishing these abilities instead, we are the brave pioneers on the frontier of feeling, willing to go where others won’t and create a new way of being again.  I want you to know that I know how hard it can be to do that…to feel so much and some days, when having been rather battered by the waves, to want to get out of the water all together like the other land-dwellers.  To stray away from the cliffs and back into the plains where the fruits aren’t as sweet and to speak of less important things with people who don’t need to speak of anything else.

But you, bright star…you are a miracle with the power to completely shift this planet and do so with the power of your own joy.  You can be the richest soul, because you have claimed the inner treasure others are unwilling to seek or accept.  You can be, in your immodest thrill, an example to others when the fruits dry up everywhere else and they finally find themselves on the cliff-sides anyway.  By then you will be so weathered by the storm that the wind won’t even knock you down when it picks up, and you will use it’s sway to lift you as you add flowers to your basket…for you will have built a home there.  You will know where it is warm, and how to go into the very center of your being to touch your fire.

You will still rise and fall on the waves sometimes, but you will carry grace in your heart and you will trust the dark times as you do the light.  And they will both have something to show you, and something to give you.  And you will know how to nurture yourself when the fall is sharp and the night is hard, and you will be found even when you are lost.  You will not be afraid to be lost.  You will surrender and you will never lose.

So, I am writing today to say, hold on, take faith, all is for the good…even if it seems it couldn’t be.  Even if you think you are going crazy and the upcoming transformational shifts are making you want to take off into the night and forget your name but you can’t move, cross the threshold anyway…and eventually the storm will let up for the first time in a while…and you will see the new day you were always heading for.  And then, storm or sunshine, you will know.  And you will carry the treasure of your knowing and remembering with you again, and forever…

Love, Jennifer

Read Jennifer’s related Oracle Prophecy Messages about 2012, and 2013

See Jennifer’s upcoming Course…Available around the world:  The Sacredly Sexual Priestess Trainings

Saturday, September 29th, 2012

Tempestuous.  Unruly.  Emotional.  Insatiable.  Things I can easily feel all in one afternoon.  Not perhaps words you would associate with enlightenment, but of course that depends on what kind of enlightenment you are talking about.  And what kind of path you are planning on taking there…I am talking about the path of the Goddess.

While we often might imagine an enlightened person alone standing on a mountaintop, or sitting in lotus position under a bodhi tree, there is another path.  A nearly forgotten path.  Not forgotten because it slipped to the bottom of a purse like a a set of keys.  Buried quite intentionally.  And this may be the only case where it is actually a good thing that it was buried alive, for this “way” is still alive inside of every one of us.  Rather than the saintly and static image we have of  those who have “transcended” earthly life, this way involves the swirling and thrusting of dancing bodies, the ecstatic screams and lose, wild hair of one in total abandon.  This way involves the pounding of ancient music, drums playing the sounds of the heartbeat we have always known.  This way includes the act of sex seen in it’s most beautiful form, the ultimate proof of human and divine being one.  This way embraces the full spectrum of emotion, like the sweet rush of the uncontrollable ocean.  This way embraces the whole of experience, embraces the body, and doesn’t have to avoid temptation.

This is the way of the Goddess, and once upon a time she and her serpent power ruled the world.  For in it’s time of true knowing and glory, the Goddess religion was not about one gender being higher than others, or gender at all.  It was about being led by the feminine life force that undeniably rose up from the wells of your body and being and shed grace on everything within and around you, no matter your gender, age, race or even specie.  That grace then allowed the experience of the full, true, beautiful masculine to be known in all life too.  Gender and our ideas about it were so different then.

We answered to the body.  It knew everything (and still does.)  We didn’t have to look up to the heavens to pray for answers about our confusing lives on earth.  We just asked our bodies.  They store all the information in the universe.  We literally do have all the answers within.  But we were closer to our bodies then.  We really opened ourselves up to pleasure, as we have since been taught not to.  We didn’t have to wonder about the Goddess, we could feel her alive inside of us.  We could feel that serpentine life force throbbing up from the base of our spines and undulating through our hearts and minds.  We lived by that rhythm.

Sometimes in this life I feel as if I walk among the ruins, picking up fragments, seeing images disfigured on the remaining walls.  Though I have really done this in places around the world in locations like Egypt, Greece and India, I also do it in my mind and heart.  I stumble upon the distorted myths, altered to disguise and repress the true knowing of the feminine.  I see that so many of the serpent goddesses have been turned into the demons of stories, bearing monsters, referred to as child-eaters, described as having been “slain” by this god or that, or this saint or that, as new religions took hold.  I remember Python, Protectress of the Nymphs, and Priestesses, and Oracles of Old, wrapped around the stone pillar in the cave at Delphi.  I remember the serpents who came to “lick or clean the ears” of those who would then have the gift of prophecy.  Always the life force, there to protect and guide us…and still it waits for us to know it fully again…it waits for the return of knowing of the serpent power within.

It takes courage to come back to the body.  Back to feeling.  Back to allowing in pleasure and emotion and sensation when we have been purposefully taught to be numb and quiet and complacent.  Taught not just in this lifetime, but in many, and by incredibly brutal means.  But this is the only way back, back to that path that sings in translucent light.  Back to that path that is golden.  Back to the way we once knew.  Back to throwing our head back to laugh too loud.  Back to writing in ecstasy.  Back to not holding back.

Seem far-fetched?  Not as far-fetched as what I am about to suggest then.  What I see is that this is where the world consciousness transformation is leading us…back to embodiment.  Only it will be even better this time.  What we’ve learned along the way is priceless beyond all measure and will make our experiences more powerful than ever before.  In the coming years we will simply be stripped of everything that supresses our true glory and beauty, and in that nakedness we will truly see ourselves completely for the first time.

We will greet the serpent, when we feel her again moving, not with fear which makes us demonize and hide from her, but with glowing excitement…we will get lost in her luminous coils and press our face to hers until they become one, and that is how we will see the face of the goddess, of god, of ourselves…

Love, Jennifer

Check out Jennifer’s upcoming Course, available around the world, starting October 16th:  The Five Sexual Goddesses: Return to the Serpent Power

Tuesday, September 4th, 2012

They come in glimpses…the memories.  Laying on a stone table, my body being rubbed with herbs and oils in a dark room beneath the temple, under the earth, only my waist jewelry on my body.  I remember the feeling of the way my body was revered…held sacred…

In another, I am wearing only a black, veil-like fabric around my waist, one of the sacred colors of the Goddess, and I am levitating near a temple wall covered in carvings, with my arms out to the sides of my body…a position held as powerful long before it represented a cross.

In yet another I am in a room filled with light, and the open windows show the brilliant blue of the ocean, and bring in its sweet, soft breezes.  I am in ecstasy, as I was as a nymph, and it is this ecstasy I and my Priestess sisters embody that ensure the community of harmony in the land.  It is their mission, the mission the entire community is in support of, in that sacred temple only to make sure that the women are pleasured.  Can you imagine a place like that?

My most beloved memories of all of my memories of lifetimes as a Sacredly Sexual Priestess are those of being a nymph, in constant waves of bliss, completely at one with nature, fully enlightened and in total abandon, surrounded by other beings who knew their own magic.  It was a different earth, but it is also the same earth, and as far-fetched as it may seem, we will be returning to these ways.  It starts with one woman at a time, and the people of other genders who support them.  For we will all know bliss again as a result of the feminine knowing her own pleasure again.  Women will open the gateway for the feminine within us all.

For years when I used to do readings, mostly with women, whenever I would use a word like ecstasy in relationship to life on this earth I would get the same response…essentially that it sounded like a pipe dream.  Something they had never or rarely felt, and had once wanted but had given up on.  It seemed as far-fetched as skipping among the stars.  It felt out of reach, and they spoke of it from deep in the chasm of its absence.  I had already dedicated my life to teaching the ancient traditions of the Oracles: self-love, intuition and sacred sexuality…the ancient feminine practices of ecstasy.  Speaking to those women only fueled my fire even more.  I felt their thirst and I knew just what would quench it…I know just where to find the ancient and ever-bubbling spring.

For once upon a time, it was our daily bread.  Ecstasy wasn’t something we had to reach for, or work hard to sustain.  It was our way of life.  We could never forget or lose it because we were in constant rhythm with it, it was under each footfall as we danced, in every song, surrounding us in nature.  But most intimately of all it was in our bodies.  It was as close as our heartbeats.

I know the grief that can come of even thinking of these times, especially when one has none or few of these feelings and experiences now.  Sometimes it is so painful that we would rather imagine that it is only something that we will experience after this life, just to avoid coming to terms with the fact that we have been separate from these ways.  But we also do this because we think we cannot know them in this life…and I am here to state the truth that we can.

There is still a moon above us, waxing and waning.  There is still music.  We just have to remember how to dance.  How to laugh.  How to feel and trust our bodies again.  How to feel pleasure.  And just as was true then, one of the supportive ways to do this is to have a sisterhood around us who is doing the same.  (Of course, you may feel a deep sense of betrayal or rejection around sisterhood because of experiences in this life or prior ones when we were turned against each other to dissipate the power, but it is the time for that healing as well so that we may once again know such sweetness.)  That’s why I created my courses the way I did, but even if you are on your own and have no idea how to draw others like you, simply begin the change within.  You will draw them to you, one at a time.  It will take patience, but you will be uplifted by your own changes and signs of progress in your life as you wait.

What if I told you that this is the missing link?  Woman’s pleasure and celebration of her body is the presence and embodiment of the Goddess, and that that sacred feminine is the exact medicine, the perfect healing balm, for all the ravages of the world?  What if I told you that that is also the personal missing link?  The missing ecstatic experience of love which we were innately designed to know is the reason for low energy, a lack of a sense of purpose in life, inability to connect to one’s intuition, difficulty finding and connecting with kindred spirits and lovers, lack of creative inspiration, and so much more spiraling all the way into despair.

Don’t get me wrong…there are other reasons for despair in our lives that can be powerful and healing.  But even despair and other necessary-to-the-soul’s-growth difficulties in this life can be experienced differently from a place of being sourced…  You see, women are walking around in this world with their plugs trailing along behind them.  They could be plugged into the greatest power source in the universe (themselves) but they inherited the disconnection handed down to them by their mothers, who received it from theirs, going back to the time when the war on women’s power began.

I know it can be scary to stand up and stand out…to plug in and turn on.  After all, the trauma of the silencing pulses through our blood, also handed down from those who died or were mistreated for being sexual women…for being powerful women.  But there is something on the other side of that fear.  Something glorious beyond all your dreams.  In fact, it is the place you have spent your life striving to arrive at and feeling just one hand’s-width away from.  All that stands between you and it is forbidden fruit.  All that stands between you and it is an apple.  All you have to do is trust the serpent power within and pick it.

All that stands between you and it is flying in the face of convention.  Audacity.  Feathers flying.  Moon madness and self-trust and the embrace of all the shamed parts.  I know it may seem impossible to reach sometimes, but it all starts with bare feet on soft grass or being washed in a creek at twilight.  It all starts with your senses and letting yourself pleasurably explore and expand them.  Ecstasy is literally at our fingertips.  It is all about whether we can allow ourselves to see and feel and receive pleasure again in our lives.  Whether we could even consider allowing ourselves to actually live a life of pleasure, or whether we are holding that possibility at bay even as we create our dream boards and desire lists and wonder why we can’t seem to manifest what we want.

It is the one area of focus that can change literally everything about your life.

I remember the way we felt when we danced.  The level of pleasure the body can experience is so far beyond what most people even have any idea of, and we felt those untold levels of pleasure just moving our bodies, together in a room of warm-colored stone where beams of light crossed the thin fabrics across our swaying hips, and our ecstatically enlightened, beautifully smiling faces.  We were one then.  One and yet radiantly unique.  There were no doubts.  There were no losses.  We weren’t ships without compasses.  We danced to a rhythm that we could always feel.  I feel it now.  If you didn’t before, perhaps you feel it reading these words, or perhaps you have located something just as holy…the yearning for it.  That yearning will lead you if you let it.  If you let the gaping hole of your pain consume you, it will be replaced by fire.  The fire that knows.  It knows the way.  It is your fire.

I will see you all again there, I know, faces lit and smiling.  Ecstatic and wise beyond all measure.  I will see you there again, in that place where the body is loved and pleasure is known and we thrum with the beat of nature…our own nature.  We will walk where the dew is still heavy, and we will skip among the stars.

Love, Jennifer

Click here to connect with your Sexual Woman in Jennifer’s upcoming Sacred Sexuality Courses (by phone, available anywhere in the world!)  (To skip among the stars, know ecstasy, pleasure in the body and in life, connect with your serpent power, to remember your past lifetimes as a Sacredly Sexual Priestess and learn those sacred ways…)

Like this post?  Join my Mailing List to get all my best goodies and future writings here!