It’s Let go Time ~ An Oracle’s Prophecy

by Jennifer on October 19, 2017

Jennifer Luna Posada
October, 2017

So let go,

let go,

just dive in…

because there’s beauty in the breakdown…

~frou frou

We are all looking for the days of light.  The days of waking up to the pleasure of skin against sheets, silky and sweet…feeling the ease of breathing soft like the movement of lightest wings, unencumbered, organic…free.  Filled only with the ache of wanting to know another day, and no other ache.  No pressure against any part of us, and still hearing the faintest whispers of faeries in our ears from dreams of magic and promise.  The days of feeling each moment is an inspiration fulfilled, and that every step is in perfect rhythm with the beat of your heart…meant to be, flawless and shimmering like each moment of the life of the ocean…

I love those days, and every pulse of the blood through my veins carries their glow…but the path is winding, and I am not here to hail the days of light and flow today, but their precursors.  Their foundation, their sustenance, their nourishment, their catalyst, their beginning and their end, their mother and their lover and their very best friend.

I am talking about the dark days.  The days when you try to fall asleep at night hurting, body, mind and soul, or lost…not sure if you did anything that day right, anything that mattered, anything that led you somewhere better or truer.  I am here to remind you that every single day that you face, even the dark ones…especially the dark ones, moves you forward and toward healing release.  I know some days it seems like that couldn’t possibly be true.  Like you have been waiting in the same station for years and nothing has changed.  But you are not the same person you were when you got to that station.  You have changed a million times over.  You don’t even know yet that you have become a butterfly while you believed almost nothing moved.  I know you won’t feel it until the wind hits your wings.  I know I am only giving you words, but I have a strong message of hope today…

Wander the ancient forest within where it seems now perhaps that there are only fallen trees instead of new life…the ruins in your heart where there was supposed to be sparkle and joy and where you think everything has died, and maybe even that it is all your fault.  Wander there because soon it will be gone, but keep a candle going in your heart.  Keep even the tiniest of flames lit there, because as the darkness deepens even a glimmer of hope will become your new world.  If you think that the darkness couldn’t get deeper and can’t imagine more, just know that this isn’t a punishment or a bad dream…it’s how you will find the deeper glow you couldn’t otherwise see.  It is the way to the greatest gift you will ever know…

And so, if you know this…if what I am saying rings true in your heart…how can you best let go right now?  What is aching to be released in your life so that you can be unburdened?  Can you truly decide it is okay that you don’t have the answers now, and that you don’t have any kind of plan?  Can you trust your burning longing, or its absence, and that whether you “do it right” or not, you will meet exactly your most beautiful destiny?  Because there is no way to “do it right” right now.  Can you trust that it feels wrong right now in some ways, for a reason?  Can you fall into bed on the hard nights and let yourself hurt, and love yourself for just making it though the day…for breathing in and out over and over again?

This is a waiting time for some things.  Some things aren’t ready to be born, but if you can surrender to the pathless path, you will still go the right way…even with a blindfold on.  I talk a lot about “The Blind Oracle’s Path” as a way to describe the times when we can’t know what is next, and the messages aren’t clear because they aren’t supposed to be.  We are meant to find out what we will learn when we have to feel our way along in the dark, never sure how the space we move through will change.

As I wrote that I flashed back to being about eight years old, my eyes glued to the TV as Luke learned to use the force in Star Wars.  His eyes were covered and he had to feel his way.  We too have to feel our way now more than ever.  We need not to rely on old ways of sensing, practical summaries, or pre-planned steps.  We are uncovering buried instincts that will lead us directly to the holy of holies in our lives, in our bodies, in our very souls.  It is time for more of our soul wisdom to enter into our conscious awareness than ever before.  It wants to take a special route…along a dark river that runs right through the underworld of our being…washing us, and nourishing us.  For it to do that, we have to get out of the way as best we can, and let the darkness roll through…

I know we have been taught to do anything but that.  And if it feels like letting the darkness roll through would be dangerous to you or others around you, please reach out to someone to get support.  But even if you aren’t worried about actual endangerment it is very important to know where your touchstones are…to have support.  Since this is a time when touchstones have been scattered and you may not know where to look, think of holding that small sweet flame of hope in your heart.  Find anything that reminds you of it…autumn leaves, birds singing and puffing up against the cold, a beautiful writing, a hot cup of tea, the soft face of a friend…absolutely anything that comforts you as you let so much fall away.

This is a time of deep detoxification, happening on many levels…the energies are primed for it on a planetary level, and we are feeling it both energetically and physically.  That means as we surrender our bodies are detoxing too.  It means it is a wonderful time to drink plenty of water, eat clean foods if it feels right, and do whatever other detox rituals you love (this is deeply personal right now, so check in with yourself and what feels right, but it can be as simple as moving around more, having a sauna, or getting more rest…)

Just as importantly, know that this time will pass.  There will be breakthroughs.  Things will feel lighter and freer, and you will finally feel the new flowing through.  This process, rather than distracting from that state, insures it.

That means in the worst moments when you are sure everything is all wrong, you can remind yourself that this too is meant to be.  We know this, but every reminder is a blessing…because with every breath that we remember that truth, our insides can let go a little more.  We can feel held by the universe instead of gripping every muscle against a storm we are sure is going to take us down.

And hell yes, sometimes we know it’s time to fight it.  And sometimes it’s time to let it take us down.

You can do this, love.  I can already see the beautiful color of your wings peeking out.  It is the same for me.  I can see the bright fire and the new life.  I can see you shaking off the decaying leaves when the time is right, and the deeper soil you will be fed by after that.  You are going for those deeper minerals…you are diving further into the darker soils now that carry those more authentic memories and desires your soul left there so long ago for you to find…the ones that have been aging with a truer love than you knew before you buried them there to let them germinate.  And then here will be silky mornings and bright days, and they will be beautiful too.  By the time you are back to them you will love all the days for what they are…each a leaf of a different color, each with a different gift…each leading you to more beauty, and healing, and love.  But now you will be able to open your arms to them so freely…like a child.  You won’t have to carry all the things you still carry now.  Those things will be gone and there will only be starshine on warm nights inside, and that sweeter glow you found beneath everything.

I love you.

love,

Jennifer

 

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Also, if you love this writing, you will adore my courses, which you can see here, and my beautiful project…www.orgasmicwoman.com  (for all genders : )

 

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To the Great Below…

by Jennifer on August 18, 2017

Wednesday, August 9th, 2017

“From the great above,

She turned her ear to the great below…”

~from translations of the myth of Goddess Innana

When I was a little girl, where I’d visit my grandmother in the South, there were abandoned railroad tracks I’d walk for hours.  I’d balance on the rusty rails and let my feet fall on the haphazard wooden planks, nearly submerged in the earth they were slowly becoming.  I’d get down in the small clouds of hot summer dust I made with my steps and put my ear up to the tracks, like I’d seen people do in the movies.  I knew no trains ran on those tracks anymore, and there would be nothing to listen for, but somehow I could hear far-away trains coming sometimes anyway.

A long time ago, long before I had symptoms or signs, and long before there was anything to look for, I turned my ear to the great below.  Before I could see anything coming…before I could walk, before this life…I turned my ear to the great below.

I’m an Oracle…and while you might think we only look up, I’ve turned my ear to the great below long, long ago.

I had already heard the heavenly songs, so beautiful beyond words.  I had heard the songs of nature and the earth, exquisite beyond legend and imagination.  But for a very long time what has called me most is what is beneath it all.  What is unseen and unsaid, what is hidden and forbidden amongst roots where all the forgotten stories are entangled.  Where the treasure is.  Where the healing is.  Where no one is looking for illumination, but where it most certainly lies.

I’ve been reading a journal from the summer when I was twenty years old.  It was the first time in my life the symptoms flared that I would later understand were due to Lyme Disease and the nervous system dysregulation of early trauma in my life.  In that time I wondered why, at the tender age of twenty, I felt like I was 80.  And an unwell 80, since you can be 80 and wonderfully healthy.  I worked at the deli in a health food store that summer, and at the end of my work day I would collapse into the grass and not move for a long time.  In my journal I said I knew that despite my deep connection to the universe and my own essence, there were things happening in my body I didn’t understand, below the conscious level, and I prayed to the universe to please show me…whatever it took.

And the universe has shown me.

I guess some people would find it disappointing that it took almost twenty years for me to see it all…for me to explore the precious underworld I explored.  Or sad that it has taken ten years of being unwell, culminating in nearly three years of unspeakably challenging treatment, to come through.  And I understand that way of thinking, I really do.  But how can I explain the treasures I have found in the underworld, precious indeed…how, when you heal by climbing out of a treacherous tunnel from the center of the earth, hour after hour, day after day in sheer darkness and often monumental pain, giving up a thousand times and then taking another breath and another anyway…how by the time you are near the surface you are not striving for the light anymore because more than ever you carry it within?  How in the end you can move your body like a panther, stretching at sunrise, because you had to embody so fully as an animal that you remember nothing else?

How can I explain how, in the end, you are able to weave golden threads of dimmest sunlight into healing cloths of bone-deep remembering…remembering that doesn’t just move in your psyche but pulses through your veins like wildfire?

There have been wildfires here, to the North.  If I put my ear to the ground I can feel the warmth…I can hear the crackle dying down now.  I watched the light turn golden, and the moon turn red night after night as the fires raged on.  I remembered the red moons I’d seen so long ago, eclipsing or red from the haze of fires and ruin, in ancient times few could look back on.  Times like now that I also pulled a fabric around my arms against the winds of change, and also at the same time let them flow through me.  Times I also tried to trust fully and surrender to what was meant to be…what I could not resist.

And so the wildfires came, and I danced.  It wasn’t a celebratory dance, but a necessary one.  Now moving for me is as essential as having a heartbeat.  And I never took for granted the ability to move, or breathe, or dance, or speak…but it is certain now that I never shall.

Maybe you haven’t had my exact struggle and emerging renewal, but I know you have had your own tunnel from the center of the earth to climb out of.  I know there was a day you turned your ear to the great below, and if you are still deep in the irreconcilable suffering of no movement, no breath, you may feel profoundly, utterly sorry that you did.  But I want you to know that it is worth it…that the darkest hour can feel like it lasts forever…like, forever…but there truly is a dawn that follows it, and a warmth one comes to finally know in the night again.  And the way you find the courage to keep breathing points toward the direction in which entirely new levels of your gifts are going to open up, even if it feels like moving toward them is like trying to chisel an opening through a boulder with a feather.  There will be traction someday.  You will figure out something a feather could do that you never imagined possible.  You will find passages that weren’t there before, appearing slowly before you…

On the outside, except at my very worst which happened almost entirely at home, you would think I have been fine all along.  While I have experienced enormous suffering, I am also plugged in to phenomenal joy and endless ecstasy.  It seems like an inconceivable paradox, and yes it is very strange to be me…and very wonderful.  I have so many gifts already, and I have gained beyond measure from every pain I have ever known.  So, on the outside I have seemed fine.  Radiant even…rosy-cheeked even.  You couldn’t see what I faced in my darker hours.  And now I look much the same…you can’t see how the ground waters inside of me are now running more cleanly.  But I have my ears to the tracks and I can feel it.  A tide of wellness has turned in me, a light is traveling down the tunnel now.  I’m not done.  I’m not out.  And there are other tunnels to explore other times.  But not like this one.  This is the one for me.  The special one that will have given me the most of them all.

I am still aching from my long winter.  I have been lying still beneath a tree where no one could see my seed coming to life, and now it will take me a long time to restore my full vitality and move across the landscape again.  But I have muscles I didn’t have before.  Muscles I am teary with excitement to feel.  Muscles I had when the world was young and we knew what it felt like to have wings.  And when there were wildfires, and the smoke might have made me sick and immobile like it used to, I was able to dance.  Again and again, I danced.

There is another side.  Another side to what feels like it will crush the life out of you.  There are seeds coming to life when everything looks dead in an unending winter.  Put your ear to the tracks, even if they’ve long been abandoned, and one day you will hear the train coming anyway.  Turn your ear to the great below and you will hear the ground waters flowing again…the humming of new life…

Love,

Jennifer

 

Love this writing? Hop on my email list to receive each new post!

Also, if you love this writing, you will adore my courses, which you can see here, and my beautiful project…www.orgasmicwoman.com  (for all genders : )

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