I was wearing my leopard-print jacket for the first time. I had been lusting for one for over a year and had finally found the perfect one, and tonight, was its debut. Its faux fur was so soft and comforting, and made me way too hot in a delicious way as I waited, in the packed theater, for the show to begin.
All along the front and second rows were our friends and acquaintances. Of course we all, also the ones who dressed up in an especially fitting way for the occasion, would want to be front row at the world-famous burlesque performance that had come to town. Mixed into the rest of the crowd were people of all ages and many backgrounds it seemed. I was so excited to see how everyone would react.
As it turned out, I have never, ever, heard so much screaming from such a relatively small crowd, in…my…life… Though the screaming was exquisite, (as was the woman who threw her bra up on the stage) it wasn’t my favorite part. My favorite part was the enchantment. The air was thick with it. At any moment nymphs, satyrs, and unicorns could have skipped through the room and I think everyone would have found it perfectly fitting.
Though each performer that the fabulous and incomparable Miss Indigo Blue introduced (an incredible artist herself!) was a gem of self-loving exuberance and overflowing beauty, one really illustrates my premise today. Her name is Lily Verlaine, and she entered the stage, a vision, nude but for her panties made of flowers and a huge bunch of multicolored roses held up to her chest with an arm whose hand reached around to cup her other, naked breast. She wafted across the stage and then around the room like a fragrance, and indeed she left the strong and sweet aroma of flowers in her wake, trailing along behind her as she moved.
She approached an older couple, taking one of the roses from her bouquet and brushing it along his face, and then giving it to the woman beside him. She offered a rose petal to my husband with her mouth, while I happily watched. She sat in a friend’s lap for a moment and then, as she stood above another man, he rose toward her as if he were levitating in her direction without even meaning to…like a cartoon character lifted along by the scent of a nearby fresh-baked pie. She was that magnetic.
I thought, as I watched her, back up on the stage pulling one rose at a time from her bunch and throwing them, littering their petals everywhere and then filling her mouth with them and blowing them out like a sprinkling, sparkling rain from heaven, that she looked just like the goddess. Not because she had a beautiful body, but because she radiated abundance, fruitfulness, and gracious giving of her beauty. She exuded it, she beamed it…she let it pour off of her in waves. She didn’t hide her delicious secrets. She gave them generously without reservation to all who were in her presence, just by being and allowing it.
We have been taught, through terrible methods and with traumatizing results, not to radiate this beauty. All genders are taught this, but especially women and those who identify as women or have a strong feminine side. We have, by every institution and individual who wished to gain power over us by supplanting our own, been taught not to get in touch with the most powerful force of creation…the pleasure of our bodies.
Nothing can ever truly win over that power, unless we never access it. This is what those who wished for false power realized. They picked a long-term plan to rob women, the greatest keepers and leaders of this bodily pleasure, of their self-esteem and self-confidence, and shame them out of feeling pleasure and joy. They took actions that made women feel unsafe and caused them to equate pleasure with danger and pain.
I know very well that creating a feeling of safety again is what will allow women to blossom in the way that will cause the earth to rumble with the kind of change that will set everything right, the way that nothing else is powerful enough to fully do. So my advice is not that every woman out there start running through dark alleys in their panties throwing roses (a little laugh is always good. : )
You see, we have a revolution to embody and to bring to the world. And it is the revolution of the sexual woman. She is coming back, and she will be better than ever before (even in the wild and wonderful goddess-worshiping days of old.) She will access the answers…deep inside her. And she will know just how to lead us into the new world with them. She won’t doubt herself anymore, or hide her vibrant sunrise-beauty anymore. She will glow, and beam, and heal and make whole. She will be the return of the goddess. The return of the divine feminine. She will bring it back for all of us, and the world will be restored, and reborn.
So…here is the brave edge beautiful women…here are the raw beginnings. Look for the cracks…we don’t hide from or fear them. We lean in toward them and push them wider open and make things that are no longer of service crumble and fall apart. We have always done this. Then we can help better things grow.
Yes, we start by finding the cracks that are the little places where light comes through. These cracks are the moments when we feel safe enough to radiate our beauty and let ourselves feel pleasure. Even if they are only when we are alone for now. We make these spaces grow and then we let ourselves be fully aware of them, enter into them, and get our glow back on. Only you know what makes you glow, what opens up the cracks for you where the light comes in and you can see freedom…and it may have been a long time since you felt it…but do whatever it takes to seek and find it. It will be more valuable than gold, and give you blessings and beauty for the rest of your life.
Once you have found what makes you glow, find more and more spaces where you are comfortable revealing it. I know it is scary. It has taken me so long to fully allow myself to do it, even though I have been pretty darned good at it my whole life, and I still find further ways to radiate and open even now, finding new safety and space to blossom more every day.
For as soon as you make the room, you will blossom into it. That is how nature works. And while an actual flower also wilts and drops its petals and eventually dies, we are ever-living and ever-blooming flowers. We only get more beautiful as we grow. That is also why there is a youth-crazed disassociation with the beauty of the older-aged in our world, to dissuade us from finding the unparalleled beauty and power there. We only get better with age…if we know pleasure.
We may think pleasure is out of our reach…that there has been too much pain for too long. But there is always room for pleasure when we invite it back in, even one little drop at a time at first. Really it is a vast ocean and all we have to do is take our finger out of the dam. We just need to find those cracks and help them crack open a bit more, and pleasure will flood the safe spaces we have made for it to fill. It starts with attempting to open and relax into safety when we feel pleasure. Later we begin to blossom at even the tiniest prompting, and every level of pleasure, so long as we feel truly right and good about it, feels completely safe and freeing, and wildly wonderful.
This is a whole new language we are talking about. Even though it is ancient. It may seem so foreign at first that we would rather run back to what we know. But we have the goddess living inside of us. All of us. And we women have a special way to let her shine, to let ourselves shine, and to ignite the world. With that light we illuminate every dark space that ever was, every hidden corner and forgotten knowing.
We have the return of magic right within our reach. It’s in your hands right now, and deep in the pulsing tissues of your heart. You access it when you trust your knowing and spend time finding out what that really is again. You access it when you love yourself, and believe in yourself no matter what anything outside of you says or does in response. You access it when you say yes to your body, and pleasure, and no to what denies your very being.
My name is Jennifer Posada, and I am a sexual woman. I am a sexy, juicy creature and I am letting my light shine. I am a beacon on a mountaintop calling out to you because I know you can hear me. Stand with me, even if only when you are alone and you stand naked in front of your mirror and decide to love what you see. Stand with me when you decide to take the afternoon off, just for you, and have your secret happiness all to yourself. Stand with me when you take the risk of blooming, when you feel safe and it feels natural, and to let others see your beauty and your sass and your gorgeous, rippling, radiant light…
Find that armful of multicolored roses and play with them, touch them, feel them…love what you are. And share that only when and if you want to, because it would increase your pleasure and your joy. Go out on a limb. Let yourself be more alive, perhaps, than anyone around you and apologize to no one for it. Let go of the ropes and the ties that are holding you back, and soar. We are the ones who will change this world by loving ourselves and modeling it. We are the ones who will find bliss in a field full of flowers, giggling like a child, just when the rest of the world is falling apart. And we’ll be okay with it when we need to fall apart ourselves. We will be able to cry when we need to, and even feel desperate, because we won’t be afraid to feel. And that is what will save us. We are the only ones who know that great ocean, and deep within, are not afraid of it.
Make contact. Make contact again with the part of you that feels. Not the part of you that feels what everybody else feels. That will just fragment you if you go there first. Go to only what you feel, and indulge in it the way you would the most divine latte with the perfect foam. Even if the feelings hurt, if you give yourself over to feeling them fully and completely that will change. Just do it over and over again, until you become an artist of feeling.
If you can’t find what you feel anymore, turn off everything else. Step away from your obligations, relationships and commitments for even an hour at a time. Find the place where you can hear your own heart beat again. Use that time to do something that feels good, whether it is taking a walk or watching a funny movie. There is no right or wrong choice. There is only what feels good to you.
I will say that again, because it applies to life: There is no right or wrong choice. There is only what feels good or right to you.
That is the mantra of the sexual woman. For there is no right or wrong way for you to be sexual either. You can be sexual for only the rarest moment, alone on the sofa once in a while, or sexual with the wind and the trees, or very actively sexual with partners. Sex doesn’t make you a sexual woman. The goddess made you a sexual woman, and you are the goddess, so you did that. You could be celibate for the rest of your life and still be a sexual woman. You are not just sexual when you are doing or thinking about something you think is sexual…you are sexual when you look at the moon, when you do the dishes, when you cry, when you drive your car or read a book. You are sexual because you are alive and the creative divine. The entire universe was born of this creative “sexual” energy and it is what fuels everything in your life, whether you know it or not.
Being turned on is being truly alive. How can we function properly if our power switch is turned “off”? We need to be turned on!
So just imagine, now that you really know it, what can happen next. You could become unleashed. You could get your energy back and become empowered as never before. You could have everything you wish for, and more. You could leap tall buildings in a single bound (so to speak…or maybe literally…who knows!) You could overcome whatever is holding you back. And then you could do it again and again.
When we all spilled back out into the lobby for intermission that night at the performance, everyone looked flushed and full of life. Movements expanded and voices and gestures were wider and louder. You could feel the life force pulsing through the room. There was more laughter. In the long line for the ladies room, woman of all ages chatted like happy birds, full of life and eagerness. You could feel the buzz moving through everyone. A few women danced their way out of the bathroom stalls in front of the big mirror playfully, while others in the line cheered them on. This is how the life was brought out in people…the life, and the play, and the joy.
This is how the sexual woman heals. This is how the sexual woman brings light, and vibrancy, and ecstasy back to the world. And just like Lily Verlaine didn’t do it alone, we won’t either. We will be surrounded by a supportive cast of other luminaries, each of us like a rose in that multi-colored bouquet…unique, and celebrated, and collaborative. There will be other sexual women alongside us, as well as the beautiful and awakened men who are ready and cannot wait to stand by the sexual woman, and those of other gender identities who have come to bless the world with gifts we have yet to even fully imagine. If you are looking around and wondering where your beautiful cast of fellow radiant revelers is, just wait…they are coming. We are rejoining more and more every day.
I can’t tell you everything here. It is too much. But I have told you everything that I can right now that matters most, and I will spend the rest of my life telling you more. I stand as a sexual woman. I will not fear my light. I will love myself radically and unconditionally and take care of myself like a fiercely protective and loving mother, and make sure I feel safe so I can glow. I feel you now. I feel the light growing ever-stronger as we speak…for you and I are speaking right now. I know you stand with me. I know, together, we will light up the world again.
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p.s. If you love these writings, you will adore my fall courses: (all available worldwide!)
The Sexual Priestess and the Seven Serpent Powers of Regeneration
October 21st – December 2nd, 2014
The Essential Self-Love Course
Begins September 17th, 2014
The Intuitive Sound Healing Course
Begins November 12th, 2014
p.s. While I listed them this way as a most clear focus, each of these courses is truly for the lover, the mystic and the healer…every single one…so you can view them all in one place here and see which one(s) speak to your heart most!