Thursday, January 24th, 2013
My heart started beating a little faster as soon as I saw them. And at the same time it was as if everything slowed down to this smooth, perfect pace. That’s how it is when you are in love. And I am in love with waves…
It had been two years since I had stepped onto that same beach, skin and body warmed by the sun, sunlight flashing in my hair, and waited…watching, looking out and listening, for the moment when the waves would calm enough for me to get into the water without being tumbled onto the rocks by the tide. They always quiet at some point there, and it happens in cycles. I knew that because I knew that place well, and had watched, and listened, and opened there before…
During our lifetimes on this planet at this very special era, we have the privilege and the challenge of experiencing some of the most potent transformational energies that the earth has ever known. While some of them make outward shifts in our personal lives or on a massive scale, in many cases the larger upheaval occurs within us. That makes these energies deceptively powerful. Of course, by now we are almost used to getting uprooted, falling apart and together, being torn open and made raw, moving through dark nights of the soul, losing all sight of our former identities or personalities, and sometimes just plain losing our minds (or feeling like we are coming awfully close.) Almost used to it. We might be used to it if it didn’t keep intensifying…
I always refer to these energies as waves, and the good news is, like my beloved ocean waves, they move in cycles, and if you can get in touch with those cycles you can learn how to ride the waves, and even how to recover well when they crash you into the rocks…all you need is the ability to feel natural rhythms again, and your intuition.
But perhaps before I go on, as inspiration, I should remind you how good riding waves really feels…
After I wait and watch the waves for a while and find my entry point, I slip into the water which is only gently rolling then. I move swiftly then past the point where the waves crest so I am ready when the big ones come again. Once I am behind the place they crest I know I can just wait for the swells. I only need to keep my eye on them as they arrive, to make sure I let go enough for the biggest ones to lift me, and that I am still behind the curl. If I get ahead of the crests then the waves would grab me and twist me and throw me down, but I trust them because I have listened, because I trust myself. I feel at peace because I am so deeply one with their rhythm, and because I have made a lifetime habit of feeling natural rhythms, my own rhythms, and following my intuition. The waves are the embodiment for me of the throb and pulse of life…the same throb and pulse in my heart and my body.
When the bigger swells finally come they lift me up and carry me…and, like I knew I could as a child, I fly. It’s pure, orgasmic bliss. This isn’t just a bliss I feel in the ocean. This is a bliss I feel a lot. This is the story of what life is like when you can feel your own pulse again…your own rushing blood and beauty…your own heartbeat strengthened by the pulse of nature and the universe and love. And if you haven’t felt that pulse in a while you will know it. Things will feel out of sync, you won’t feel sourced, you will feel separate from your purpose and your connection to love, and you will doubt what is good. But we are entering an era of joy and connection…that’s what all these transformational waves are here to support, (even if first by helping us destroy the old before welcoming the new by breaking down structures that would not allow in full love…) and what will usher each of us into this era is finding that throb from within again…letting it lead us, and source us, and carry us right into our bliss.
There are many things that come into play in order for us to unite with that inner pulse and be able to move at one with our own true rhythm. Once, as Priestesses and Priests, and other mystics of countless titles, we knew this pulse. We were in total harmony with it and our example helped others to also remember natural rhythms and find our own. We can feel that perfect harmony again, lifted and carried by the waves…
Using the example of my ocean love, the first step is to choose whether you even want to get in the ocean on a particular day or in a particular place. I would never get in the ocean if it felt truly dangerous. What this step requires is asking yourself what feels right. Checking in with your own feelings is an art, something so immediate if left unmitigated, but in our world where we are told not to trust ourselves, it is something we have to carefully make room for and support like a new sprout that needs to be nurtured to reach its blossom. We have to make the time and space to listen to ourselves. To get quiet, to reflect, to let everything else move aside for a while. We need time that is solely ours, with no demands on us, whether we choose to share that time with another, others or alone. We need this time out as part of our daily lives, and also sometimes may need to take a trip somewhere to totally get away from what we are used to and feel our own energy again in a new way. If we live in a more urban area we may need to take very specific retreat time to be in nature, whether that means travel or a brisk winter’s night walk on the street under the stars. It’s all about really noticing the stars.
They’re all around us in life, all the time…
When you’ve made that space you begin to find out what your inner voice is saying, slowly and if you show up for it again and again. You have to be patient, and committed and open at least enough to listen. The trust in that voice, in that heartbeat you’ve let become stronger, may also come slowly. And slowly is just fine, because it’s worth waiting for. It’s worth building, and having things crumble around…it’s worth learning new languages for and forgetting old ones…it’s worth relearning how to breathe, and how to walk, and how to make words. It’s worth everything it takes and more.
Then, once you know when it feels right to get in the water, and when it doesn’t…when the moment feels perfect to move into it…that’s when you get the amazing and courageous opportunity to actually act on that knowing. These are some of the greatest acts of self-love: really asking yourself what feels right, and giving yourself permission to make choices based on it in your life. It means that after you are in the ocean you watch for the crests and get behind them and then, like your own breathing, you feel the ocean inhale and exhale, you watch and feel and match your own rhythm by paying attention to the energies and how they feel to you, and then you can surrender…then you are lifted and carried, then you are one with your own pulsing heart and that of the loving universe…
There’s another great act of self-love, and that is the one you can experience when once in a while you get thrown down by a wave anyway. Either you didn’t really feel your knowing clearly before you acted, or you did feel it quite strongly and therefore believe that your knowing has steered you wrong. The beautiful news is that it cannot steer you wrong. Even if, as you are getting water up your nose, losing all control, being crashed down onto the earth and scraped along the rocks (we’ve all been there…maybe some of us even since breakfast a couple of times…) there is some reason, some gift we don’t know about yet. Some hard place within us got broken, or some medicine was called for and released within us that will forever after that moment be accessible to us. Some bright place opened up in a sky inside of us that we didn’t know was there before we crashed. So this other great act of self-love is the one that allows us to climb back up off the beach, in our own gentle time, take really, really good self-loving care of ourselves, and trust, even as we also allow and honor our pain as fully as possible, that this was somehow meant to be a part of our experience.
The more we take that time I spoke of that we need in order to be with our own energy and reflect, the more likely we are to also be attuned with or open to the understandings and gifts that come from our wave crashes as well, further strengthening our trust in ourselves and the universe. And of course there will likely still be days when you want to give up completely…when you have been thrown down so many times you don’t want to get up again. The best thing we can do in those moments is to let ourselves feel whatever we need to, without pressuring or forcing ourselves to try to feel differently, and to be really gentle with ourselves and try to do anything that we can that feels good…even just a little bit good. The feelings will pass like a storm in their own time and leave behind rain waters that will refresh everything, right away or in perfect time. And when it’s just so intense you can’t even try anymore, in any way, and feel like you can barely breathe, focus on that…that you are still breathing. Don’t worry about doing anything else but that little bit of breathing. In and out. Just be with that little wave.
Ultimately you can feel what I did returning back to the waves that day…in love. In love with yourself and life. You can feel your heart quicken and slow, and let your intuition guide you to a life that is filled with more joy, aligns you with your self-love, your purpose, your thriving sexuality, your most amazing gifts, the most exquisite relationships and experiences, and all the things your heart desires. It’s been a long time since earth really felt that way, but I remember when it was that way for everyone, and I know that though the path may be extraordinarily rough sometimes and we don’t know how long it will take to get there, that’s where we are headed again. And though it may take a long time for the earth to arrive there all together, many of us will be ahead of the wave, and we don’t have to wait until then to enjoy the ride…
Find out what makes your heartbeat quicken…take time away from the pressures in your life to find out what richness is happening in your heart and what it wants to tell you. Find the situations that make you feel the pulse of life rushing through you and let yourself really feel it, let yourself be led by it, and return to those situations and activities often. And if the waves throw you down sometimes, don’t let it make you think there is something wrong with you, brave soul. I admire your courageous heart more than I can say. I am honored to be on the earth with you right now, and to be out there facing the ocean of soul. May the stars in your sky twinkle extra brightly tonight, and may the waves guide you ever home.
Love, Jennifer
Want to increase your intuition and have a little help being drawn back to the pulse of your heart? Join me in my upcoming course: The Oracle Course: The Essential Course in Intuition and Vision It starts Monday and there are just a few spots left so jump in now if your heart is called!
