2019: Coming Back To Life ~ An Oracle’s Prophecy

by Jennifer on October 30, 2018

Jennifer Luna Posada
November, 2018

They came like water…the visions…the knowing just poured over me in warm waves.  The other day I suddenly just understood, as I lay in bed, as I walked down the hallway, as I had my shower…so many things about my life and path that I hadn’t before, despite my long history of visions.  I could hardly keep up with the beauty flowing through me as I grabbed my notebook and thanked the universe that it is time…it is finally time…for us to fully know this way again…

Once upon a time we used to tell these stories in the caves…around the fires, aside the waters.  We used to carry this knowing in our bones…and now we will carry it once again this way…

It’s time…

A time you have waited for…for so, so long…a time when you felt like you’d finally be ready.

You’re ready now.

I know…maybe it’s a little like getting somewhere and not really feeling like you have arrived.  You might be hungry and sleep deprived, and feeling like everything is surreal and all you want to do is fall into bed.  That’s okay.  I know…you have dreamt of this moment and probably you thought it might feel different.  You thought you would disembark from whatever vessel you arrived on and want to run out and explore a new city, a new vista, a new day…but perhaps instead things look cloudy and you want to turn around and go home.

Don’t worry.  You just need rest after your journey.  And when you rest you will dream…and in this new dream you will suddenly see the vision you had been holding differently.  You will realize this arrival is even more perfect and destined than the one you imagined.  Even the unknown of it is so, so very blessed.  In fact, the unknown of it is where the blessings are that you hadn’t even imagined, even in your dearest wishes…

In fact, it may be an immense, incredible relief to shed and release the things you used to want.  They may feel like clothing that doesn’t fit anymore, and it is time for the fresh and the new…

Finally.

You see, you have been cocooning recently at some very deep levels.  Entering into the most frozen parts of yourself and bringing back blood flow…going to the numb, sleeping places, and waking them up.  And at first that may have felt or may still feel scary, and perhaps sometimes even terrifying.  But you have rousted enough of your dormant power and beauty that it is butterfly time.  It is wake-up-sleeping-beauty time…and you will be the one to kiss yourself awake.

You might have once believed that to be strange and uncomfortable, but you have been so broken open, so brought to your knees, so unbound, and disrobed, that you are ready, even if you don’t know it yet.  Even if you are like an animal that has been set free from past restraints but doesn’t quite know it yet, and still lingers near the old ties.  It’s okay…it takes time to realize you can run free again…to warm and ready the stiff muscles of having been bound.  And just like no one can truly hold you back now, no one can push you to set out before you are ready…

Rest is wise…again, whether this is actual rest or the permission to simply pause between the greater breaths of your life…before you take the first new huge inhale after a deep soul death and rebirth, this is when the new dream will show itself…the new vision…

2019 is a year of miracles…

2019 is a year of coming back to life.

Maybe parts of you are already alive and thriving…pulsing with life force.  But parts of you that have been arrested for years, maybe decades…maybe since before this life…are being freed like wild horses that can no longer be held captive.  And your life will never be the same…

These miracles of 2019 will come in many forms, and I have some recommendations to best prepare as we move toward the new year:

Get comfortable with the pause…

This is where, when and as it feels safe to do so, we allow ourselves to deepen into the darkness…the warm, loving darkness everything comes from.  This is where we allow ourselves not to know what’s coming next, and just to do our best to relax into resting there, and resting as much as we can in general.  This will begin to nourish and rejuvenate us and we can just linger here as long as it takes…

Let yourself dream, and look for signs…

As we linger in this resting phase, new dreams and visions may begin to stir and rouse us.  There is no need here for us to jump into action, but just to begin to feel inspired and moved from within.  We can just let this unfolding start to slowly bring us back to a gentle awareness of a new life coming into being.  We can just linger here, also, as long as this phase takes…

Build warmth, let energy build and flow in your body…

This is the step where it will begin to feel more easy to move energy again, and in new ways…to boost the circulation in your being and your body.  This circulation may come about from actual movement of your body, from connection and new interactions with others, from sexual energy and orgasm, or from a fresh energy of creative flow in your life…

The most important thing about this step is that you won’t have to force it.  It will just move like water downhill…you will just find yourself drawn to what you need.  You will just suddenly be grabbing a pen and free-writing spontaneously, or leaning into a new attraction easily, or wanting to go up and take a walk in the bright new day.  But again, this step can’t be rushed and will come on its own…it will come about because you let it and waited without pressuring yourself, rather than because you thought it had to.

And oh my god will it feel good…

This is where it all comes together and the rest, which leant itself to dreaming the new dream, is now supported by refreshed energy and flow to bring magic into being.  One day you will just know it is time to kiss yourself awake, and you will know how.  Even if you don’t realize it is happening until it is underway, suddenly you will feel that you have let slide off heavy blankets you didn’t realize you’d been carrying for such a very long time.

And your muscles will be stronger because you met your burdens, and finally learned, through relationship with them, to cast them off…but only when they had taught you everything they came to teach you, and gifted you with everything they had to gift you.

This is when the spark catches fire.  This is when the flame of new goodness comes into your life, burns out the old, and heats up the life force of a new era in your reality.  When you break free, it may disrupt the status quo of some things in your life, and at first it may upset some people around you.  But you can’t keep a beautiful bird caged forever, and it was inevitable that you would eventually burn through your binds.  You are too bright a creature to stay in a box…

And everything you have ever wished for and have not yet experienced is outside of that box…

It’s time to trust being a phoenix…because every other option will become a life of dust.  It is time to burn or fade away.  And you will never fade away.  So, you will find a way to trust your fire again.  Your true fire is never harmfully destructive, but a force of healing nature…a thing of beauty…a balm of truth.

Just keep your beautiful phoenix eyes open for the truth it will reveal.  And while you may gasp at first, then you will finally exhale, with a relief you have waited lifetimes to feel…

You do deserve this freedom, and you can have it here on this earth.  And 2019 opens the doorway to make bring it right to your fingertips.  You won’t even have to reach or grasp for it…it will come to you.  And you will laugh, dip your fingers in that honey, and laugh again…that it all finally happened…just as you dreamed it before this lifetime.  Just as you dreamed it in a faraway time and place.  And all the other place-holding visions will fall away and reveal more of the master plan than you have ever seen before…

So just rest if and however you can…trust this pause between breaths, and trust that the dream will come, followed by the signs to lead you into the new flow of energy that becomes the fruition of some of the deepest destinies of your path.  Destinies of joy and realization…destinies of freedom and release…destinies of knowing and sharing your power like never before, like a spring bursting forth finally from dry ground, watering the ground again…and bringing you back to life…

Love,

Jennifer

 

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Just to be a Creature

by Jennifer on October 1, 2018

Monday, September 10th, 2018

For Gibson

I used to burn sage.

Now I ask people, kindly, if they would mind putting it out…so I can breathe.  So I don’t have the leave the space we are in together…

I think about the elegance of it all.  The perfection of my grand sensitivity, masquerading as weakness, and even experienced sometimes that way.  I think about the way I have spent my life getting to this point of extreme beauty through what looks like extreme limitation.

I literally require the purest air, food, water and other kind of inputs at the moment to maintain equilibrium, and my resilience waxes and wanes like the moon, invisible sometimes in a blackened sky.  No slender shimmer to be found.  But that is the place of all potential, that darkness…that new moon.  And there is a force behind it beyond all possible comprehension.  That is what I have done on this journey…I have climbed behind the moon to the place of all darkness, and all possibility.

I have crawled into the earth so deeply I entered the underworld, and I have spent years there.  I can breathe underwater now…even if sage smoke and wildfires make me sick.  That reaction to smoke isn’t permanent, but what I have gained from experiencing illness and trauma is irreversible…for they have transformed me even further into my most true self.  They have made me what I most wished to be on this earth: more fully a creature.

I know the aim for our time here is usually something more like experiencing the divine…becoming a goddess.  But, like the rest of us, I came here already fully divine, and once you know that, there is nothing more beautiful than bringing it into your deepest embodiment: fully being the creature that you are is being the divine.

You see, because I remember what it is to be fully conscious…because I remember and know what it is to be in “the heavens” and have awareness of the entire cosmos, I am intimately and preciously aware of the fact that we come here to be in a body, and it is one of the most beautiful blessings of all.  That means I already know I am a goddess, and what I would like to do is be more like my cat.  Pure instinct and connection.  Every harmonious ancient tradition in the world revered animals for this very reason.  We come here to remember how to be like them.  We are them.

It would have been very easy for me not to completely become the animal that I am.  Almost especially because I have always had such tremendous spiritual resources and such an unspeakably close connection with my body.  Yes, I know that doesn’t seem to make the slightest bit of sense at first.  But I could easily have made do with all of that and never reached these deeper levels if I hadn’t been pressed to the dirt until it became my skin…if I hadn’t experienced such phenomenal levels of helplessness so repeatedly that I had to let my body lead in every…single…way.  Not just most the time, and not even 99% of the time.  All of the time.

I am not suggesting that we need to learn the way I did (thank goodness) or that we need to reach some ridiculous idea of 100% (yes I just called something I only just said ridiculous).  I am saying this:

You are a beautiful animal.  Your body contains all the heavens.  If you hurt, it is teaching you to be a master, even if you feel anything but that.  If you are hurting you are brave.  You contain all the wisdom that has ever existed in your bones, in your cells, in your blood…and you will never be alone on your journey on this earth for many reasons, but especially because you have your body with you.

Our entire earthly religion used to be the celebration of the body.  Our bodies and the body of the earth.  It was only natural.

I know it might be scary to start to listen to your body.  At first you might only hear the pain.  And even when you feel the guidance it might lead you to do uncomfortable things…like ask people if they would mind putting out the sage…and about a billion other things that might push you in directions you wouldn’t go and yet directions which lead you most precisely and unswervingly in the path of your deepest dreams and desires in this life.

Some of you are perhaps thinking…”Yes, yes Jennifer I am more than on the same page and aware of the beauty of the guidance of my body…but I need to know more about how!  I try and I try but I keep losing the message, or reading it wrong, or doubting myself…”

As far as I am concerned there is really just one place to start…no matter how far along you are on the journey if you want to go deeper with communing with the purest wisdom, insight and instinct of your body.  Nourish yourself.

Find out what your body needs and do anything and everything in your power…short of feeling like you have to stress and push yourself which would be counterproductive…to give it to yourself.  Your animal body may need nothing more powerfully than it needs to curl up in a ball and rest.  And it may need that a hundred times.  It may need moonlight, or good food, or music.  It may need laughter or hot water or lots, and lots of tears.  You may not be able to give it what it needs most right now…and that may be painful…but you can at least begin to hear it.

You may not be able to rest…because you can’t sleep, or because you have work, or because the kids need to get to school.  But when you have even five minutes you can climb into the pillows of your bed, or the awkward seat in a public space if needed, and say, “now baby”…”now you can let go for a little while.”

Yes, we are talking about practicing unabashedly a profound level of self-love.  And if that sounds too massive to accomplish, remember that it will grow as you give yourself and your body what it needs…one micro-step, one moment, at a time.

Illness and trauma formed the cocoon that allowed me to become a butterfly.  And to embrace the beauty of the caterpillar.  They ensured for me that I would disintegrate…all the way into a formless goo.  It had to be all the way for me.  Yes, it didn’t look pretty and sometimes still doesn’t.  But it has the power of a million suns, and I am much more interested in that than in whether it looks pretty.  I am interested in real beauty.  And sometimes real beauty comes from immense suffering, and real freedom comes from having known very heavy chains.

I have said before that, “I am not interested in being enlightened.  I have been there before.  I am interested in becoming better at being human.”  And so today, I want to celebrate with you all…that I have indeed become better at being human, which means better at being a human animal, which means better at being an animal.  I am more proud of that than I can possibly say, and it has opened doors of understanding for me that would never have otherwise been available to me.

I have suffered mightily.  Much more than I ever thought I possibly could.  But I am a butterfly now…I am made of rainbow in a deeper way than ever now…and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.  Yes, a combination of Lyme Disease and toxicity, placed on top of a foundation weakened early on by developmental trauma, eventually toppled my entire structure and tested my very life.  Yes, some recent setbacks slowed the great progress I had been making…but how long does it take to make a star?  How long does it take for an ancient tree to grow its rings or a diamond to be formed from coal?  How long does it take for a pearl to grow from an irritation…how long did it take for the moon to learn how to glow?

It takes a little while.  And I can’t think of a more worthwhile thing to do with my time on this earth than to become better at loving, and better at being a creature.  And, with the patience of night, I am daily and diligently doing both…every single day of my life.

My dream is that my words inspire you…to not be as afraid or ashamed of your darkness (there is so much gold there) or your fiery, brilliant light.  I hope you won’t spend your life thinking that being spiritual looks like you are always ready to break out in an “OM” rather than howl at the moon.  Both are beautiful.  I hope you feel like it is okay to ask them to put out the sage if it is making you sick, and that you become more and more comfortable asking for a million other things you need, saying no when you want to say no, saying yes when you want to say yes, and saying nothing when you don’t want to speak.  I hope you get more comfortable with the “ugly”, and the grit, and the things that don’t fit inside the lines.  I hope you dare to live outside of them.  I hope you aren’t afraid to have some people not like you, or think that you are less evolved because you don’t hide your feelings in the deepest closets inside of you…like most of them do to feel more “presentable”.

I hope you know you are always presentable because of who you are and what you are made of, and not just always presentable, but always adored.

I hope you make a mess sometimes.  All over everything.

I hope the guttural, and the primal, are two of your best friends.  Right along with the orgasmic and the ecstatic.  I hope they are all invited to your party.  And I hope you get to party hard…dancing until you remember everything…

Your body will show you how.

I love you so fucking much.

Love,

Jennifer

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When I Let Go…

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To the Great Below…

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My Great Undoing

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