The Reinvention: 2020 ~ An Oracle’s Prophecy

by Jennifer on November 8, 2019

November 5th, 2019

Deep in the darkened, ancient hills of magic, the fireflies of remembrance glow…you slowly open your eyes from a great slumber and remember this land, remember this glow. You remember the plan you made so long ago that you had forgotten. You shed the path you thought you knew, and open to both the more ancient way you are reclaiming, and the vast and great unknown, to create a magic beyond your wildest dreams… 

This is the beginning. The beginning of a new chapter you didn’t even really know was coming. Only it isn’t really just a new chapter…it’s a whole new book. A book it will take time to orient to like an entirely new land…because you’ve never read anything like it before. You are reading the ancient story you wrote for yourself so long ago, and embracing the part unwritten. You are finding the pen in your hand again, after so long, for the page that writes itself…

Your life is about to be reinvented. 2020 is a year that we won’t just recalibrate, setting new intentions and slightly adjusting our course. 2020 is a year that we will start from scratch, and while it may indeed feel like starting from nothing, it is really starting from stardust. The nothing we begin with is the open space you have created by shedding such an incredible number of skins over the past several years. The open space is your triumph…your reward for being willing to stand naked with your soul and pare yourself down to your essence.

It is as if you have emptied your home of everything and you are sitting on a single cushion or chair just taking it in. It’s as if you can finally see out the windows again, and there is a new day you can finally explore. Yes, it may feel as if you have to re-learn how to walk, and speak, and do things you used to take for granted. And yes, that takes more energy and presence…but that is the gift. You will be more truly participatory in the choices in each moment, and in the richness of it. You are going to feel again in deeper ways…and the feeling will show you the way.

As you add things to your great open space, you will choose each item or each energy with intention. And this time, more than ever, you will choose to bring the magic in…

For a very long time you may have feared to bring the magic back, because it was sealed away ages ago when it became unsafe to show yourself as a magical creature. But the time of the first great unveiling has arrived. And while sometimes it will show up in the more fantastic ways of visions and ecstatic experiences, one of the most remarkable and special ways it will show up is in the little day-to-day moments that will simply have more glow. You will just feel it in the pulse of your being as you pull your hair back or step outside your house…as you take in the smile of a friend or pause to lean your back against a tree.

There will be messages about how this life reinvention will look for you…glimmers of the stardust and luminous fireflies lighting your way. Sometimes these messages will come in dreams or important visions, but often they will come in the even stronger nudges of your body and emotional responses…these are some of the most powerful messengers of all since they are more present with us in every moment of our lives. Here, secrets will be revealed. The dots will start to connect in a way you never expected. Things will suddenly line up in a design you didn’t see coming, even in your greatest moments of foresight.

The more radically you embrace your redefinition this year, the more profound it will be.

You see, it’s time for a reformation…a transformation at the deepest levels of the cell and the energy bodies…a complete breakdown and redesign of old systems and structures. We are going to rebuild the very bones of what we believe this life to be, and what we believe is possible in this form.

It’s time to start over.

As fully as you possibly can.

This new life of yours, this new energy will be tested and reshaped and tested and reshaped over and over as the new frequencies come up against old structures and breaks them…as it comes into contact with an outdated environment energetically and wears it into a new shape that makes room for the changes, like the ocean shapes the earth with its waves.

If you have time before we enter the new year or in the couple of months following, this would be an incredible time to actually refresh your environment. Declutter, redesign a space, let go of the old. But if you don’t have the time or even more importantly overall, it’s time to cast off the energetics that have been pending for you. These are the energies you have decided to let go but haven’t yet fully released. It’s like the boxes or bags of things you had already intended to donate but are sitting in the closet. It seems little to let them go because you had already decided to, but removing them from your energy field is going to make radical change.

Here are some ideas for how to do just that…

 1.  Actually get rid of things you are done with, objects from your home as mentioned above.

 2.  Write.  Anything. Free write until you can’t anymore. Write about what’s leaving your energy field, and what you want your reinvention to look like. Play.

3.  Do water rituals. Have baths, visit hot springs, rivers or the ocean or any body of water. Intend that every submersion in water will leave you cleansed and renewed at the deepest levels of your being.

4.  Say goodbye. Explore in words, writing, or ritual what you need to grieve to move forward into a totally new horizon. Cherish what you love and get to keep, and let go of absolutely everything else that you can.

5.  Exhale.  You did it. Whatever it is for you that you just journeyed through and lived through, you did it. It’s time to leave the heaviness you’ve carried behind and trust you are finally meant to be able to lighten your load and breathe deeply again. You do deserve that freedom. It is entirely yours.

6.  Rest as deeply as you can, either in actual sleep or in just allowing yourself to rest in any given moment that you can. You are about to recharge from years of devoted work and be rewired in a deep and fundamental way. Whatever rest you can get, whatever gentleness you can give yourself, will let you do the final shedding of skins you are doing right now to move into the new energies of your being and life.

7.  Keep your eyes and body open to magic. As you come out the other side of this final transformative window before we enter 2020 and as it begins, start to have your eyes open for signs…signs of magic and new vibrations inside and around you. Write them down if you like, and feel into what they are showing you about where to go next…

We all made quite the date. Quite the powerful date to be here on the earth right now. We signed up to be here at the great reinvention, and it couldn’t be a moment to soon. Our old systems within us and around us are worn out. Truly they are in shambles and we have simply been trying to continue to make them work because we didn’t have a new way yet. This year we find the new way.

So, if there were no script for your life, and your future didn’t have to be informed in a limiting way by the experiences of your past, what would you envision now? In what way would you become a butterfly and what radical changes would that bring to your life? Again, because this entirely new paradigm will bring the unexpected, you may not be able to envision these dreams and changes yet. But if you keep your eyes on the clouds and your toes on the earth you will start to feel them coming.

You won’t likely wake up January 1st to a radically different life…it is more that around the time of the solstice on December 21st, 2019, you might begin to feel a slight shift, as if a new frequency has been ever-so-subtly added to your world. It will likely be imperceptible at first unless you are among the most sensitive (which I know many of you are,) and/or unless you happen to have more time than usual around then to reflect, and sense, and go inward. However, even if neither of these situations are the case, over the following weeks and months you will begin to feel the sense of new frequencies growing stronger.

You will begin to feel something shifting, something boosting your energy, your intuition, and your insights. You will start to sense something at once familiar about these energies and yet deliciously new. You will sense that there might be fresh room for magic to express in your body, in your feelings, in your thoughts, in your relationships, in your work, in your environment, and in the way you see absolutely everything about this life you have chosen to live. You will see where you can reach into the blueprints you thought were unchangeable and turn them into liquid in your hands, and draw new lines of light with new directions and new properties and new possibilities. You are the architect, and the universe is the architect. You are working at the deepest levels as one. You will feel the power to create, and recreate, everything you thought you knew. You will ground in the force of your ancient knowing, and also free yourself like a wild bird.

Your wings will lift you again. They will not be too heavy to let you fly.

And you may fall sometimes, because it has been after all a great long age and your wings are different now. But you will learn something new about the magic within you every time you tumble down. And you will have new courage to get back up, and to rest and heal, and to explore again, because you will know there is new energy to support you.

It will take time to heal from the dark journeys you have weathered with incredible courage in these past years. You may still flinch when something shifts, always expecting calamity or chaos. But you have time to heal, and as you do you will realize how much you have gained resilience and befriended the unthinkable. Chaos can become catalyst and creative power because you have learned to channel it. But it may take time for you to know the skills you have gained, and to learn to wield them.

It’s okay not to know what to do first. Rest if and whenever you can. Let out the exhales and let the water flow over you that reminds you of the burdens that are being released, and the old skins of protection being shed so you can once again receive the deeper nourishment waiting to reach you more easily. Finally, after so very long, you will look up at the stars again and really see them. You will find yourself waking in the ancient, darkened hills of magic, and you will see the glow of the fireflies to lead you on…to guide you from your deepest essence, into the wild new world of your reinvention, and to the wild new world we will create from our unveiling.

Love,

Jennifer

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Forty

by Jennifer on April 5, 2019

Wednesday, March 6th, 2019

For my fortieth birthday this year, I threw a 90s-themed dance party. It was a costume party, so people showed up in all the styles that to me in the 90s were just clothing. And I re-created an outfit I would have loved to have worn to a party then. (See pic.) Oh, who I am kidding…it’s still the kind of thing I would love to wear to a party. (Wish you could see the boots.)

Yes, you might as well know this about me if we are going to be close…I am the kind of “spiritual teacher” who loooooves a good party. A good house party preferably. In all honesty, those two things are not at odds at all in my experience. How do you think we worshipped and did ritual in ancient times? Yes, we had amazing parties. All…of…the..time. It was often how we bonded, had visions, and healed together.

You might say it has been my party mission in this lifetime to find parties that have even a hint of that old magic…and I am happy to say I have been able to do so many, many times. Despite having to rally hard during times of extreme illness, despite a lot of other things that could have caused me to give up on parties altogether, I still, so long as my body agrees, peel myself up if needed and put on a pretty shirt I like and something sparkly and head out into the night as often as I can. I still lean in, hoping to hit one of those luminous moments that everyone is bouncing off the dance floor in the same rhythm and smiling with the bliss of wildly happy children. I still show up, hoping it will be one of those special nights that we all end up laughing until our faces hurt, or bonding over deep feelings in the wee hours of the night to deep, soft bass.

It is still one way I visit the temple. Oh, but there are so many. A modern priestess has to be creative about keeping the temple alive in her life. Thank goddess nature is still there…the original temple. Nature and each other. That’s originally what the temple was all about.

But anyway, loves, I’ve come here to reflect on being forty…quick, before I turn 41 pretty soon. I know age is just a number, and have been saying so since I was in the single digits. (As most of you know I was an unique child. : ) So reaching 40 didn’t have the impact for me that it seems to have on others sometimes, or at least in the movies anyway. I was just excited that I had lived four wonderful decades of life.

Never mind that I have spent one of those decades navigating a mysterious illness (mystery no more), which led me to depths of the underworld I would never even have imagined. But it has also intensified my inner superpowers…and even given me new ones. I wouldn’t trade the gifts for anything, even if they came by fire.

Really all of the best things of my life have come by fire.

I have always burned. But I am incandescent now. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. Even if the blessings came via indescribable suffering. It was the price I paid to be burned clean.

And clean…oh my god does clean inside feel good. It’s no less rich, or complex, or wild…all the more so. It’s clean the way dirt is clean.

One thing, though, did surprise me about turning 40. And that is that I just couldn’t figure out how the time had gone by. How had it been 22 years since I graduated high school?? Or 18 years since I met my husband…I mean…WHAT??

It was the best impetus ever, well…after illness…to slow down more than ever and be present in every luscious and even every painful moment of this precious life. (Even though that has already been forefront in my mind and heart since I was a child.)

Three years ago I started decluttering my home. I had tried many times before to lighten my load, but it never really made a great change. Then I found The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and I just knew. I knew I had finally found the way. So, three years ago almost exactly, I did the thing where you pull out all of your clothes and pile them on your bed. Then I hauled out all my books, then papers, then everything else in my house (kitchen, bathrooms, shed, tools, electronics and sooo much more), and finally, this winter, I pulled out all of my mementos. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? I mean you might be wondering why this took me three years.

Ha. Ha ha. Sorry, just needed a little laugh there. Mostly because you just wouldn’t fucking believe how much sentimental paper an Oracle, writer and record-keeper can keep. Oh, did I keep records. Yes, I had some confusing filed away documents like nearly everyone else does, but that isn’t what I mean. I am talking about the books full of poetry I wrote, the page after page of channeling I have recorded over the past twenty years or more…and, most definitely, I am talking about the letters box.

Oh, the letters box…

Somehow I decided that the best thing to do to cherish the connections I had in the past was to keep every single thing almost anyone ever wrote to me. Every note passed in class, every letter sent across the miles, every postcard, every birthday card…allllll of it. There were hundreds, and hundreds of letters. Letters from family, letters from friends, letters from lovers. There were things stuffed in like photos, show flyers, patches with band names on them, clippings (there was a photo of a naked dude in a field of daisies from a magazine…ummm, just because.) There was also a rubber glove, some hair, and some smears of blood. Because why not make it personal, right?

I had been afraid in some ways of my letters box for many years. It had some of the funkiest old paper smells (which I don’t react super well to, and is part of why I am doing this clearing), but beyond that I knew my heart was going to be pulled all over the place. And oh my god was I right about that. I thought there was one love letter…I thought it was the only full-fledged love letter I had ever received other than the ones from my husband. But I was oh so wrong…that one didn’t turn out to be a love letter at all.

But nearly every single other letter in that box was one.

I have been loved. And even if I have lost most of the people in the letters box and I may as well have been sorting through the bones of old loves…I have truly been loved. And that, is how I got to be forty. I spent all those years being loved.

Yes, I have also been lonely. I have also been rejected. I have also tried to bond with animals to make up for lack of human companionship, and cried over Anne of Green Gables and her bosom friend, wishing I had one again too. But if there is one thing the letters box showed me, I have also been loved. And not all loves are meant to last. I mean, at least in this world. They always last in the bigger picture, I know.

So, while I could have counted my years in other ways…either painful or glorious, I can see that I can best count my years by the chances I took with my heart. Oh god yes, you might think by now I’d have given up…it hurts insanely sometimes to keep opening your heart. But I decided a long time ago that it was worth it, and that I would never stop trying. And that is my greatest triumph of all.

I’ve done many wonderful things. I have found and spent 18 years with the love of my life. I have lived out my mystical childhood dreams of sharing my work with the world…for fifteen years as of this month. (wow that feels so good to say.) I have had the amazing experiences of teaching in the temples of Egypt and Greece, swimming in the amazon where I saw pink dolphins, and with sharks in Fiji. I’ve learned an ancient form of temple dance in India and lived in a city full of temples there, and I’ve chanted with nuns in Tibet. But in all of what I have just shared with you, what really made the magic was and is the people (and animals.) The connections. The love. The temples in India were beautiful, but the families I was embraced by there were incomparable. The nunneries in Tibet were stunning, but it was the way the nuns gently nursed me when I was sick that will stay in my heart forever. And my work is obviously most deeply about reaching and loving all of you.

I had planned to read the contents of my letters box when I was 80. Yes, that was really the plan. But then the paper started, you know, decomposing gently…enough to make a smell I reacted to. That “funk” is why I did it now…and at first I was sad I didn’t get to keep the dream alive of revisiting it all when I was older. But now I can say with all my heart thank god I didn’t wait until I was 80. Because that would have been far too much longer to sit on buried love. Even if there was also buried grief, the sooner that could be faced the better, too. After all, if I want to have the courage to keep loving, I’ve got to make peace, and let go…but also let it in. Let in all the love I held at arm’s length when things fell apart or when we lost touch. Time to really feel it.

Because you have to let love flow if you want to be well. You don’t have to force it, or grasp it, or try to make it flow when it doesn’t or isn’t there yet. But by god if it is a river, best to get out of its way and let that baby flow. Even if you can’t show it or act on it for some reason…see if you can let it flow inside of you. I know we build dams inside when we have to…when we can’t possibly bear the love or the possible loss. I get it. I am not saying you should never do that. But when the dam starts to crumble, and your efforts to patch it up fail, it might just be time to step aside and let nature take over again.

She always does. Sometimes if you just slide your hips an inch to one side the entire old world can fall. And it is time for old worlds to fall.

I am also saying that, always and only under the direction of your own heart of course, it is worth it to try to love again. Even if you have had your heart broken a hundred times. Of course it’s just as beautiful and right to pull your energy in and heal when you need to…to love yourself that way is one of the most beautiful loves there is. But if, and only if, life is showing you that more love might be waiting for you and you know that love is meant to be yours, is meant to live in you, is meant to speak through you, is meant to be freed by you…take a chance. You are not alone. I am taking that chance every day, and it is only for the bravest of the brave.

It is how the world will heal.

And you will know, if beyond all your other callings, your calling is to be a lover.

Mine is.

I lost a friend in this last year. A soul friend. The kind that are the most precious and sacred of all. She was a lover too. She poured love on people like the most gracious sun pours light on the world on a staggering, blazing summer day. She had her heart broken more times than there are stars in the sky. But she didn’t stop. She kept loving. And I will always be glad I met her love with every passionate drop of my being, even though it made her leaving this world so searingly painful I couldn’t almost breathe for weeks and was racked with sobs most nights. Even though I also felt her with me just as much as before, or more, I cried for missing her body. I cried because of how much I would miss her hugs, and hearing her voice out loud, and seeing the flash of her movement across the waters like an animal glowing in the dark night.

Like I would say, and like my friend Gibson would say, and like Maude said to Harold when he told her, “but I love you,” at their parting…

“Oh Harold, that’s wonderful. Now go and love some more…

Love is the medicine for the pain of love. So go on lover, go on and love some more.

I love you.

Love,

Jennifer

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