Friday, October 9th, 2009
I have been thinking about falling. I watched Alice in Wonderland the other night, and thought about her fall down the rabbit hole. Instead of crashing toward a new ground, her skirt billows out and she floats. She is able to witness many worlds on her way to a new one, and sip some tea, sit on a chair for a while, and even read a book or two. Sure, when she lands everything is upside-down, but she quickly adjusts and moves on to explore the strange new land she has arrived in.
Energies continue to build right now in such intense ways, and, as it has been so much especially in these last five years, just when we think they couldn’t increase even more…they do. We are constantly being asked to expand and adapt, and it never seems to end. We get short respites, but for those of us on the edge (because we want to be of service and because there is just nothing, in spite of the pain we endure for it, like the thrill of it…) it is sometimes a wonderful and wild ride, and at other times about as rough as it can be. At times we ride on the surf, and at others it slams us against the sand, against ourselves, like never before. Broken, we pick ourselves up again, and, like Alice, reorient, and reinvent ourselves. We take the scraps, the leftover bits and strings, the remains, and we make something new and beautiful from sheer will, and with only the glue of hope sometimes to hold it together.
But even as we continue to crash against the rocks, a deeper resilience is being born. It is a resilience bred by eternal love, and it is those seeds of that hope we gather that will grow the new world. It is the light that never goes out in our hearts that will illumine our way to a new path of joy…not later, but now…it becomes a thread woven into what we are already living…and slowly takes over our realities. From this lead that arises in these challenging times, personally and collectively, we will make gold. We will remember the gold we have hidden deep within us. It will emerge, and shine.
The thing about falling is that it seems dangerous, because in the physical form it really can be…but falling within can be different. It can be like Alice’s journey down the rabbit hole and we might as well sit back in the floating rocking chair and read for a while on our way to a new place. It may take its time, and we should find every joy we can in the meantime. Yes, falling on the inside can bring about the same terrible feeling at first…that there is nothing to hold onto…that we have lost all sense of our bearings and don’t know whether we will ever find them again…that we are on our way to disappearing completely somehow. But if we find out we can relax and let go into it, it suddenly feels like freedom. We realize that it’s that its everything that no longer suits us that is falling away, and all that is left is what is most pure and true within. We are left with our essence in its greatest grace, and we are light enough…to float.
So if you’ve been wondering if anything will ever take off the way you hope it will in your life…if the obstacles will ever move aside…if your physical body will ever heal…if your emotional wounds will ever be completely put behind you…if you will ever find a friend much less a lover….if your world is going to fall apart or not, or if you’ll ever know what to do with the pieces after it has…take heart. Even if it feels that your heart is ready to explode…it won’t. Take a deep breath, and let yourself fall. After all we fall into love, and this is all, no matter how dark the tunnel ever seems, we are ever doing.
Love, Jennifer
