Monday, April 4th, 2005

hope v.

1. To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.
2. Archaic. To have confidence; trust.

Hopeful. This is the word I have been hearing most used in response to this website, and even more generally about my work. I hear that what I do seems to continually bring hope, and that that hope is refreshing.

In knowing that I am a vessel for this work, this has made me want to reflect upon hope and why what comes through me seems to express it.

I have always believed in Self love as a core for all love. I have believed that love is the most radical and essential force in existence, and that beginning with loving all that is within is therefore the most radical and essential act one can embody. I believe loving the self opens the door to love entering one’s life like an ocean and filling in all the empty spaces, altering every aspect of not only what we feel, but ultimately what we experience.

So this is a step before “thought” being the creative element in our lives. We can enter through either door…we can change our thoughts to those of self love or we can begin to feel self love and therefore our thoughts will begin to change as a result. Then we will see our lives change.

Self love is certainly not just a phrase however, or a one time commitment. It is a daily, lifetime, moment to moment recommitment. And it isn’t just something pretty and angelic. It is something that may toss your whole boat over, something people may judge and misname, something that may first bring to the surface all the things you don’t want to see. You have to want the surrender to it so badly that all else fall away. And then there is nothing but trust.

This is the core of everything I believe. When people speak of hope I hear that second definition above…To have confidence…trust. There is nothing in this world that doesn’t bring us back to trust, total and irrational trust. Believing that all is within a greater plan and that that plan is made with total love. That is what I see when I look into the worlds and dimensions of energy…that is what I see when I look into the void.

I think then that when we are at our most trusting, we hope. We have all hope. We know then that our wishes will be fulfilled, because we know that this is the nature of the universe…to listen to us and to give. It may not always be in our conscious timing, but our deepest selves understand even this, and find things to create while waiting, and praying. The more we invite trust into our lives, the more we are embracing self love as love for all, and the more we believe in life. Hope is most certainly a flower…we tend it with our trust, and we watch it blossom with our dreams.

Tuesday, March 29th, 2005

First we learn how to die. We meet oblivion and run from and back to it like a child playing with the ocean waves…both thrilled and terrified by their magnificent power and beauty.

First we learn how to die. We do this as we learn to live. We stop running from its opposite and find the possibility in death. We turn over the rock and find teeming life beneath it. We find life after death and we find that life is better after death. We live and die in every single moment…some small almost unnoticeable insignificant seeming deaths and rebirths…others like tidal waves that take down absolutely everything you knew about yourself. Indeed everything you knew at all.

First we learn how to die. Then when we have learned to live and die, we learn resurrection. When we learn how to fall we inevitably grow closer to learning how to rise. How does one rise? We learn to sink and dive to the deepest depths within ourselves…what do we bring back to the surface? How do we take that level of transformation and bring it through into flesh and bones, morning routine, driving the car, getting back on the phone, grocery shopping? How do we step totally altered back into what looks like the same life?

We Rise. We rise above what looks the same and watch from a place we haven’t been before. We rise without apologizing, without begging, without arrogance, without criticism, without guilt. We rise without even trying. Transformation is like helium. When we have transformed we rise without even trying. We literally vibrate at a different frequency, and when we are speaking of soul transformation this means we are raising that frequency.

We rise. We greet the stars and see what they see. We keep that kind of company. We rise into the earth. We rise to the height of a flower. As we all notice these roll-your-ship-in-the-waves intense storms of energy…sleeping like running a marathon, tuned in to the intensity at all levels, everything coming into total holographic focus, ask yourself how you would like to rise. If you are reading this you are going to. No more ceilings…all the dimensions are open. Rise, rise, rise. Love is the height and the depth. No more scary corners only pure, beautiful, unexplored jungles and forests and oceans and hills into eternity.