Monday, December 10th, 2007

And what would we be…if nothing ever came along to break the hard shells that build up over the heart? If nothing came along to re-break and re-set the broken bones, and the aching soul, so that a deeper healing could take hold?

We spend our lives avoiding pain, and yet it finds us. On the sidewalks and the billboards…from the mouths of the ones that love or dislike us, from the faces in pictures. It finds us when we least expect it, and when we know it is coming, just the same. It brings us to our knees…and when our hearts are strong our bodies still may fall. It brings us down when we have forgotten the smell of the earth, and lifts us up when we are already to high to find oxygen enough to breathe.

We can be anywhere in the world and find it. We can hide, and it will creep into the places we have sealed away. It will burn us, but it will eventually sanctify us in a way I can never name. When we have long ago lost our breath, we will find the heavens waiting…and the stars shining around us like a treasure we never could have hoped for.

We cannot heal this world alone, but we can take a tender hand to our own broken hearts…and begin there. We can look at ourselves the way we would have looked at Isis when she lost Osiris, or Magdalen when she lost Jeshua, or anyone who has lost someone or something they love. We can remember that we are the child of the heavens, and we are adored. We can treat ourselves with that adoration, and as we reach out to ourselves in an act of love and bravery, others may feel a bit of that hope and light reach them…like a wave around the world.

We still have suffering in this world. Yours, and mine. Strangers’ and friends’. But beneath this suffering there is a golden earth emerging…a place of light bright enough to heal all wounds, and redress all pains…a love that is the only thing more consuming, and more pervasive. Give it to yourself. Others will be touched. We are all connected in such a quiet, perfect way. And yet our wholeness is so complete within. We are the sanctuary where the flame is always lit over the lake.

Never fear that you don’t do enough. Just keep enough fuel to sustain your flame every day, and through the night, and trust all that is meant to find you will see that light, on its journey home to you. You are not lost. You are a flower in the protective, loving hands of god. You will only ever fall hard to be broken, and only ever ultimately be broken in order to open, and you will only ever open in order to find that you are more of a beauty than you ever knew before.

With all my Heart,
Jennifer Luna

Sunday, December 2nd, 2007

“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets through.”
Leonard Cohen

There is a perfect moment many of us wait for. Perhaps it is warm and we are loved, and we feel beautiful in that moment…so beautiful. We feel that when we have overcome our flaws and filled up our cracks, we will be made golden and whole, and all will be right within and around us. It is a mystical moment that seems to drift in a slightly heavenly realm just out of our reach most of the time, like a kite we hold the string to…forever connected to us and yet rarely touched.

I think the place we need to touch is as close as it can possibly be, and while it is certainly in our hearts it is also as near as the surface of our skin…and as tangible. It is perhaps within the total redemption of the body that we find that absolution and possession of the soul. Maybe if we stopped seeing anything ugly about our image in the mirror, we would stop finding it in our hearts, and feel overcome by our own radiance. We can take either door to our own beauty…through the heart outward or the body inward, but the route of the body is the less proclaimed. We think the gateway of the body will distract and deceive us, but when we think this we know it not.

Do you ever have those days when nothing seems smooth? Everything seems to come with a rugged edge or a jagged seam? It becomes a bumpy ride over a landscape of nothing but those seams, as the parts of our lives seem to be roughly patched together. The days that we feel like a cracked jar that has been glued back together too many times, about to crumble at the smallest of pressures…

We want to escape from the cracks and the runs in the fabric, but when we flee we do not hear what they are telling us. For they are not our enemies but manifestations of our own being, coming to share with us something. They have wisdom and even healing within them. They can sing.

We just have to be courageous, and so patient. We have to get really close to the walls between ourselves and what we are keeping out, or in, and listen to the voices of the places that are crumbling. They will tell us why, and show us what is beautiful under what seems like nothing but ugly decay. They will let the light in. They will reveal to us the ancient writings on the walls that tell us why they were built in the first place, long before we can remember. They will remind us.

If you wish to do this and are experiencing challenges of any kind in your life right now, take an evening to yourself and find a quiet space to be. Make the space feel intimate and like it is very much your own. Bring a journal and candle if you like, and listen to what comes out of your pen. Don’t judge it at all if you possibly can. Let it be mundane, or desperate, dull or electrified. Keep listening when you think you are done. Gently push yourself to write more, to listen more, and to trust the voice that begins to emerge from your heart.

Know that you are beautiful beyond measure. Beyond comparison. The golden moment of your perfection is the moment you embrace all of who you are, cracks and all, as part of that unfathomable glory and exquisite grace. You are a moving, walking, breathing piece of art, whose heart beats through all things, and finds ways to open any door you wish it to.

With my Love,
Jennifer Luna

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