Friday, February 8th, 2008
Weren’t we just here? Overwhelmed by waves of intensity strong enough to drag us down into the undercurrents of the primordial ocean…
Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were watching a full white moon turn red in a sea of stars? I know, I know. For many of us it is always this intense, but if you have been seriously questioning your sanity lately, ready to sob one moment over nothing at all, and laugh harder than ever the next…if you are lonely, even in good company, and then swing to spaces where you would never feel alone even when totally isolated…if you are finding yourself more and more while everything you thought you knew about yourself is falling away…then welcome to the heart of the eclipse energies that are pouring in as I write these words.
I am often catching onto things late, ironic for a prophetess I know, and it was the eve of the recent solar eclipse (the evening of February 6th, pacific time) before the energies had reached such a feverish pitch that I had to figure out what was going on and found out about the eclipses. Now, we sit, once again, between eclipses, in wait, change and preparation for the full lunar eclipse that will fall on the evening of February 20th.
Each set of eclipses, like many other astrological and natural occurrences, brings its own energies of change, and they are always catalysts and catharticly so…they invite in new energies of change often so profound that they overwhelm our systems, which in these times have usually just began to adjust to the last burst. They press us to split at the seams and reconsider our limits and understandings. Sometimes they just completely break us, or blow us apart, in a way we never thought we could handle, or would be able to recover from. And yet we do.
Like Osiris, pieced back together by Isis, we find our disparate parts and create new life from the remains. We give birth to the inner Horus of our spiritual royalty and transcendence. Oh, but aren’t we tired of breaking, falling apart, being re-created! And the feeling of unraveling into ether as our foundations crumble, again and again and again. Finally, we begin to build on nothing but light. This is where we are headed. And we will be broken over and over until there is nothing left that is breakable.
What this crushing force eventually leads us to is the unbroken song inside…the diamonds only revealed from the coal by pressure. Yes, it aches. It makes the mind wild and the body hurt. It also unleashes moments of freedom and ecstasy, ultimately, that are outside of what we may have ever known we could feel in human form. We are eclipsing ourselves, at the soul level…and we may be afraid that we won’t even recognize ourselves on the other side. But we will…just barely and yet completely. We will know ourselves as more beautiful and free than we have ever imagined. And we will get there on a sometimes-exquisite, sometimes-brutal surf.
If you can catch just a glimpse…a tiny glimpse of the brilliant stained-glass light that is waiting right under the pounding of our hearts…it will somehow feel worth it. Worth it to get up each morning and face ourselves in the many mirrors…to do the grocery shopping and the small talk and the billions of moments we go through the motions with a broken heart, holding on for the sweetness again. The sweetness that eludes us too often, or is followed by a bitter taste.
I can only tell you that if you ride the waves enough, rather than avoiding them or holding them at bay…you will become stronger, not weaker. You will begin to ride them so well that eventually even the tsunamis don’t scare you. And that, my friends, is a very big deal…to not be afraid of a wall of water that could consume you like an ant. But you can only be that fearless if you have nothing to lose. And you can only have nothing to lose if you have lost everything that can be lost…and found yourself, and everything that can never be lost, on the other side.
Yes, all this brought forward by the rotation and orbits of the planets. Yes, it is inherent in everything. And it will only keep coming. But the universe wouldn’t dish it out if it didn’t know we have all the tools to handle it. After all, we are the universe. We know what we are doing. Just hold on to the boat when you have to, and don’t be ashamed of the moments that you have to hold on…it is just what is required sometimes to make it through. And then, when you get the impulse and you know the time is right…just let go.
Do the things you love, that inspire hope and joy in your heart and body. They will get you through the long nights that stretch even into the days sometimes. Give yourself all the understanding you can…and begin to dream about what you are becoming, as all that you once were dissolves away…
With Great Love,
Jennifer
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