Saturday, May 22, 2004
The rain fell all through the night last night and carried on through the day today. The clouds hung low and the heaviness of memories of dark introspection returned. Days like today are the perfect sign-posts to read now about your near future and what energies you are ready to clear in order for a new day to be born in your life.
When the sun finally did arrive…just minutes ago…it was as if a deep purity was revealed. It was as if a veil of illusion had been washed away and everything returned to an original state of innocence and new possibilites.
This has always been the metaphor of spring. The time of cleansing for the new season of warmth to arrive. However I have been feeling intuitively that this year it is of an even more profound nature. This year the cleansing goes extremely deep and will clear issues that you may have been working on for a lifetime. It will also open greater doors then perhaps ever before.
Now is the time to dig down where the soil is black and you may be afraid, even terrified, to dig. What you want this spring is not to just remove the outer signs or symptoms of issues you sense in your life, but to remove the very roots from the earth…because this year what you want is the clear ground for an incredibly abundant garden to grow.
I recently cleared a garden space that had been overgrown for about ten years. The blackberry bushes that covered most of the garden were up to 7 feet tall in places and it took me weeks to make my way through them with clippers. Just when the apprehension of the huge overgrowth of blackberries was subsiding, I discovered wasps.
I have never had to deal with a wasp’s nest before and absolutely do anything I can to avoid killing anything if I don’t have to. After asking everyone I could think of, however, I knew what I had to do. I found myself in the garden at night, hunched over the last remaining blackberry grove and listening for buzzing over the sound of the windy darkness. I had a large container of kerosene and I was shaking. I was afraid to cause death, and I was afraid of what could happen to me as well. My sensitivity magnified the whole experience greatly. I had talked to the wasps and they had accepted my news. They went to sleep that night and didn’t wake up.
There are hard decisions we are faced with when a part of ourselves will have to die in order for us to grow, change, and even in order to create our dreams or fulfill our purposes. It is terrifying to imagine witnessing that death within us, and subconsciously we are afraid the entirety of us will die along with it.
We are afraid if we let go of a friend we have grown apart from, that we will not have any friends and will find ourselves alone. We are afraid that if we let something die that we have killed it. Allowing death becomes surrendering to the Void.
In many cultures death and opportunity go hand in hand. Most of us have little conception of what our life would become if we no longer clung to what has stopped serving us. It may seem scary, but we are each boundless and as we give in to that part of our nature that is unending, we allow the space for miracles in our lives.
So in your inner spring cleaning this year, or even as we do our outer cleaning, consider these ideas and take this spring as the chance to go deep, deep into the heart of that you wish to unroot and release. Just considering what you want to let go of is the first step, after you do that life will show you the rest of the path. May that path be scented with flowers and lit with love.
