Sunday, April 25th, 2010
And I don’t care, if they eat me alive,
I’ve got better things to do than survive.
–Ani Difranco
I’ve been brewing lately…stewing, steeping. I’m incubating something and I am not even pressuring it with questions. It’s mysteriousness is sacred. It will become something beyond anything I have dreamed, if I but let it. I don’t need to know what it is yet…I just need patience.
I love spring. It is like a promise kept…like a hope redeemed. As life bursts forth from everything, triumphant and irrepressible, it is the perfect metaphor for the renewal that is available to us at all times. We get to see the lushness we carry within once again represented outside of ourselves. It is there so we will remember…so we will remember that we always carry spring inside. For when we have the power of renewal always at our fingertips…we are free.
We aren’t weighed down by yesterday and all the days before it. We aren’t burdened by what has happened in this life or the ones that preceded it. We are only blessed by whatever was a gift in it all, and everything else rings untrue, and falls from our lips before we could speak it…from our hands before we could hold it. We trust in the moment, and we trust in our blossoming. We know it can never be missed, and that we deserve the fullness of its absolute glory. In the meantime we have faith in the growth that will take us there, painful as it may sometimes be.
And how again do we do this exactly? We remember how to be new. How to let ourselves feel new. How to start over. For we can always begin again…in fact we always are beginning again in each new moment, and knowing this is what gives us wings. Once we are free of all we have been, we can begin to consider who we are, and who we want to be. We are not afraid anymore of what that might mean and what change it might bring. We welcome it like walking out into a wild storm to get wet and windblown because nothing would feel better. We call the lightning.
We begin to think we may be much more than what others have thought us to be, or told us we were. We realize we may be much more than we ever even considered ourselves to be. We stop worrying about what we fear we might lose, and begin to understand all we will gain. We discover we have been trapped in too small a box and wonder how we ever stood it, and it splinters to bits as we outgrow it. We start to outgrow many things. We leave things behind…and it feels good. Deeply, soulfully good. You fly higher than the other birds and at first you can hear their angry mocking but very quickly it falls away as you rise. You fly alone for while and then you meet others, in that new place of soaring.
It is time to let go of some things you have outgrown and take some chances, the ones, only and always, that your heart calls you to take, on something new. It is time for some outrageous and deeply needed change and you are ready for it…whether you know it or not. Your soul has been singing back and forth with it for a long time now. Just take the same chance the flowers take to bloom again, and you will realize you know how to do it as easily as they do. And until the moment comes that is just right, remember patience, and hope…and that spring is always within you.
Love, Jennifer
