Monday, February 19th, 2007
We only have one moment, and yet the bliss of that truth exists in the knowledge that there is nothing else. We only need this one, heart-pounding, achingly beautiful moment of birth. Anything can be born in this moment…stars, seeming far away to the touch, can fall effortlessly from your fingertips if you wish…
It begins with faith. And faith, unlike some forms of trust, cannot be established solely on past experiences. Faith is a flower that grows in the heart, from nothing. It does not grow from the soil of proof, or the rain of evidence. It does not grow from the sunlight of knowledge. It grows wild and without sustenance, it is born only from a unintelligible whisper on a wind of change. Its roots are fierce and wrap, like the tendrils of a mermaid’s hair, around that which can never be promised or foreseen. It wraps like a baby’s hand around a grown person’s finger…by nature…by instinct. It knows something our mind forgets: that we are always in good hands beyond anything we may have reason to believe.
This is what we access when we take a leap of faith. For those of us on the spiritual path, there have been thousands, but each new leap taken truly on faith is more fantastic, more freeing, perhaps more frightening, and more miraculous than any that came before. A leap of faith is a reflex that kicks in when we totally surrender, even for a moment, to a deeper rhythm that emerges only then, and carries us out to a new sea.
When you think that faith is the furthest thing from possible, take the opportunity to do something different. Break your routine…take a long break or a long walk…exercise, sauna, sweat…suddenly visit a friend or go see a movie or an art opening without planning it…go out dancing, sailing, try something new. Doing something spontaneous can immediately break up patterns and make space for what is new to enter your life…spontaneity builds courage and faith and asks you to let go of your safety plans and methods. It asks you to use skills you may not think you have, and then gives you reason to revel in them, and to celebrate again.
When you have nothing left to lose you are free…and you are forced to open your wings to the sun and fall through the hell of fear right into heaven. When you have nothing to lose you find the one final space of silence where any oppressive thought simply has no oxygen to exist. There is nothing in that high, silent moment but you and the voice of your own heart, and the slight rustle of feathers in the breeze.
Take a step in a direction that is bold…not because you are afraid and convincing yourself to be strong, but because you have found the strength in standing naked before your own heart. Believe that falling is what gives you a reason, to be caught, and that this is why we fall into love. Undress from any garments of shame, gather your cloak of faith around you, and leap…knowing that death of one thing is only the new life of something even more beautifully designed for you. Let the inner spring, begin.
Love, Jennifer
