Monday, July 28th, 2008
A couple of weeks ago, in ceremony, my heart opened…
My heart, an exquisite flower, opens often…and closes beautifully too. It breathes. But this was different. This was deeper. My body was made of butterfly wings…of roses, and my heart became a landscape too vast to describe. It was a plane of energy that rippled through all of creation.
And it was so startling, and ecstatic, and lasted such a long time, that I could see from the perspective of the truly open heart. And I learned through real experience in this singular body of mine, house of my endless soul…that an open heart is completely invulnerable. Nothing can harm or violate it. It exists in a dimension of untouchable bliss. Vulnerability is only for the closed or the partially open hearts…and yet it is vulnerability that makes the golden path to the open heart in the first place. So all…all…is as it should be.
And then I returned to the world. I was different, but everything else looked the same…almost. A glow, like a fine irridescent dust, was left on everything. Almost imperceptible, like everything else that matters most to me. A subtle remnant of another song I promised never to forget. I had journeyed even deeper, and more consciously, into the dimension of my heart, and I wasn’t going to pretend to move on and be untouched.
But the world is still rolling on…and cars drive by, and babies make their first words, and people still take step after step in their own realms. And desire as I do to run out and pour a little of this nectar in every hand, not all hands are open. Luckily I have so many beautiful ways, already prepared, to share this new and bigger love in my work…but in daily life I am relishing the little things….
Longer hugs. Revealing a little more of myself a little more often. Taking chances to give more compliments, or honesty. Meaningful eye contact, when the opportunity arises. In fact, I am becoming an artist of noticing when the opportunities arise…to connect. I think it is all my life is about, in one form or another. Connecting. I think it is when we become or feel isolated, cut off from love, that darkness seems to enter our bright living rooms and shadows appear to grow. Sometimes we have to take risks to connect…almost always in fact. But it the most worthwhile gamble I know, and once you make peace with being a love gambler, the stakes are never too high. Because you always know where to get more.
You realize love doesn’t just come from another person, from family, or from the comings and goings of friends. It comes from inside of you, and all around you, and if you learn how to let it in, you will never be alone. Even aloneness will be so full, that all the friends and lovers you could ever want are right there in your very own field. For you have been loved thousands of times, and more richly than the wind loves the ocean, or the stars love the moon. And you are loved that much now…and much, much more…
Here is a little piece of that love…or a huge piece…you can have whatever size you like. You can have a whole pie of love if you want. Just open up your hand and wait for the golden nectar to come…
Love, Jennifer
