madrona house 3Sunday, July 22nd, 2007

I know as an Oracle you would think I don’t experience ambiguity. In fact, it is true that I can go to my beings, or innermost heart, at any time of the day or night and receive loving and nurturing guidance. But knowing everything in your bones does not mean we are free from ambiguity in this life, nor do I think we would want to be.

For the ancient Irish, ambiguity was the place of all magic. It was the dawn and dusk which occurred somewhere in between night and day, and the shores which were not quite ocean and not quite land. This is where mystery lived, and held a special place of honor and sacredness. When the “Great Forgetting” began, as I describe in my book, The Oracle Within, people stopped asking the more important questions and began wanting absolutes about everything. They wanted a map to life, and no part in creating it.

I live in a house that is at least 120 years old. It sits on a magical island, at a place thought of as sacred land to the native people of this area, and to all of us who live here. Our house is sheltered by exquisite madrona trees, and a magnificent holly which has seen so many things, shares our yard with the last of ancient fruit trees that once populated it. For a house this old it is amazing that it holds no ghosts. And yet sometimes I find myself thinking over the many people and families that have lived in it through time, or the more than 100 holidays it has witnessed when we reach that time every year. I think of the people who built it, and how well they built it. I think of the days when our tool cupboard was the cool cupboard where all perishables were kept, and our closet was the pantry that held the goods for winter.

The nearby land is called Madrona Point, which I made a healing song about on my CD Soul Sounds. You can listen to this song by clicking here. I grew up in love with this spot on the world, as my very favorite, and the chance to live here, at the very end of the road, has been one of the most incredible opportunities of my life.

I cried when I found out we could live here, and have cried since knowing we will have to leave.

Many people would find comfort in simply looking at the future, but as an Oracle of such a long time, I find much more comfort in the present, and the steps we take in each moment…their holiness and sacredness. Being an Oracle is not just about predicting the future, it is about putting one foot in front of the other in the grace of knowing the guidance will come in each stride. Sometimes it will come just before our foot falls, and others after, but it will always come. It is the grace of knowing our hearts have the answers, and we are simply uncovering them as we move through this life.

So I have not asked my guides where we will move, or where to look, or when. I don’t want to know. I just want to show up, and keep an open heart, and trust that whether I have instructions or not things will be exactly as they are meant to be. I know the universe has a plan, in perfect accordance with my own heart…and sometimes it brings me unbelievable solace and comfort to look at that plan…to study it like a bird scanning the valleys and peaks from high above. And other times I want to be low to the ground, crouched in fallen leaves just staring into mounds of earth and grass…seeking nothing.

I want to thank the universe, the goddess and god, my own true self, for giving me this heart and this chance to trust, and to free-fall, and even if terrified at points, to know I will be caught. Because I am in a time of ambiguity, I know there is more magic than usual afoot, and though the world would tell me to feel scared or stressed, my instincts tell me, strange as it may seem, that I should be excited, and anticipate something grander than I ever had planned. May similar surprises of utmost joy lay behind each unseen curve in the road of your life.

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