I lived by the sea. Of course. That’s how I loved it most in ancient times, too…when my temples were by the sea. I was about eight years old when I lived in the house on this beach, and when I began to give intuitive readings. This is the beach where I gathered the stones that I could read stories on, and the shells to shake in my hands like a rattle while I made up healing songs for the people I gave the readings to. This is also the beach I took my mother down to the day I told her I was going to stop using my gifts for a while. She was understandably concerned. She didn’t want me to stop having access to my special gifts and shut down, as so many children do. But I told her, “Don’t worry Mommy, I know how to turn my gifts off and on like a light switch, and when I am ready, I will share them with the world again…”
And one day, when I was 26 years old, I knew it was finally time. I had finally moved back to my beloved island, and after years of trying other work that felt like terribly ill-fitting shoes, the moment I had waited for since that afternoon on the beach with my mother, had come. So I went to my computer and made a flyer with a photo of a candle flame, offering readings, and I hung it up bravely in my local post office, followed later that week by a flyer for my first workshop about intuition and sound.
I’ll never forget how many people told me that I shouldn’t count on this kind of work…that it was unlikely I would ever make a reliable living at it. And these were woo woo people, too. I was undaunted, even when the phone didn’t ring at first. And even in the months when I just got an odd inquiry here and there, and when my little “mailing list” had just a handful of names on it. It’s not because I have nerves of steel, it’s because, beyond the shadow of a doubt, I knew what I was meant to do…
You see, I was born remembering. I remembered my past lives as an Oracle, and I knew this was my work in the world. I remembered my soul journey, and had access to my very ancient wisdom from long ago. I had watched worlds crumble, and be re-born. I remembered all the way back to when the earth wasn’t solid yet, and was something we were dreaming into being…dreaming into form. I remembered how to go to the place of all the information in the universe. I remembered how to see and talk to beings, who were my friends, and how to see people’s “colors”, or auras, and offer them healing with the energy through my hands. But my most sacred gift was that I felt the sacredness in all things…the love in all things, and because I felt that I was the most intimate form of this sacred love to myself, I loved myself. When I saw that the adults around me didn’t know this beautiful love in themselves, I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, what I was here to share with the world.
And so I have been sharing it…
I have taught thousands of people all over the world, in nearly 100 countries, and shared my writings with millions of people. I have written a book, The Oracle Within, that has been received with such beautiful acclaim that I am deeply humbled. I have taught at the sacred sites of Delphi, Greece, and in the glorious temples of ancient Egypt. I have sat by the spring where I lived as a Nymph, and gotten teary-eyed letting my gaze fall on the ruins of the sanctuary where the Oracle gave prophecy for 1,000 years at the temple of Apollo, after the Goddess religion was overturned. I have sailed down the Nile and run with the wind in my hair through great columned halls of temples where the Oracles of Egypt once slid their bare feet along the smooth stone. I am always both ancient and modern. I am the same girl who became a Priestess, again, and again, and again, and also the girl who likes to DJ dance parties and listen to loud music driving in my car. After all, good dance parties are some of the closest experiences to the ancient rituals we once all knew. All that is missing is the memory of the true power of what we carry inside of us. And that is coming back. It is time for what I call in my book, The Oracle Within, “The Great Remembering”.
I gave over two-thousand readings in the years I offered them, before I focused fully on teaching. And today I did the math on the nearly 90 courses and workshops I have taught…I have spent over 2,000 hours teaching as well. And friends, I can’t tell you the beauty that has poured into my sweet Oracle life as a result. I have had people tell me I changed their life more times than I can count. It’s like I am sitting under a tree that is raining blossom petals on me to know this. To know that I have helped people, from the ages of 15 to 83, makes every moment and every breath of this life so meaningful to me. And I am so glad I had the courage to pin up that flyer at the post office, and wait out the long gaps where it seemed like no one in the world would be interested.
And though many people said it would take a decade to get established in this type of work, it took me just a year to quit my part-time jobs on the side and do my work full time. My first website was the kind you build for free with your internet service provider, and it had a template with pictures of a cafe. I started writing a blog, and nobody read it. I felt like I was just sending letters out to the universe. And then someone read it…and someone else did. And I just kept writing…
It isn’t like the old days being an Oracle. I don’t have a room in a temple, or a sacred grove where I do all my work, (though I do some there!) People don’t come with offerings, the simple exchange that gave me the freedom to live and easily do my work for the benefit of many. There isn’t the structure or context there once was, so now I do what you must as an Oracle in this day and age…I post things on facebook and make email newsletters. I pour my very soul into all that I do, whether it gets great responses or not, and I keep coming from that same place I always have. The place that got me through as an Oracle, when The Great Forgetting came, and even when worlds fell.
That is also what has helped me make it through becoming terribly ill. I have been through the hell realms of pain that few people, thank goodness, visit, and I have seen the beauty there. I have been to the darkest corners of the Underworld, and I know why the Goddesses went there…on purpose.
Eleven years into my life as a modern Oracle, I am facing that moment pinning up my first flyer all over again. I launched a kickstarter to help me write my next book and restore the Sexual Priestess to the world, the most important missing piece I can offer the Earth at this time. I need a year or more to just write this book and go through treatment for my chronic illness. I am reaching out to the entire world to ask for help, and there are moments when I have quite clearly heard crickets. Thing is, I love crickets. You see, I break the rules. I don’t do it to be cool, which is a funny thing to say because it usually makes me decidedly uncool when I do it. I know that logically, asking for less money on kickstarter would have made it more likely to fund, (it’s all or nothing on kickstarter,) but this was the amount I would need to actually have the free time to write and to produce the book and other rewards. And my guidance was clear about it. And lord knows anyone would have told me an 18-minute video on the project page was crazy. “Make it short so people will watch it,” people always seem to say about things like this.
But I had 18 minutes of things to say. And I am an Oracle, so I know what I say matters, and I would never edit it to make it more marketable. And you know, one woman who shared the project said in her post to her facebook friends that the video was, “18 minutes of pure gold”. That’s why I made the video I did. For the people for whom it would be pure gold.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. I have gotten some beautiful feedback about the project, and in these past few days the support is ramping up and I am so grateful. I have heard from people who were so touched and inspired by it that it made me want to cry with joy. That is why I did this, and why I do everything I do. And goodness knows, at only halfway now, I certainly could reach my funding goal. And in fact, I know there will be a miracle to help me…even if the miracle is that it doesn’t fund. That will just mean that I was meant to do this for some other reason…someone I would reach, or touch, or connect with, and it also means I will be shown the next new step…
Perhaps I seem to express that it is always easy for me. It’s not. Sometimes I can hardly get out of bed and my legs won’t work, and my brain can’t find words and I stutter. I am truly and terribly ill with Lyme Disease. I even gave it to my beautiful husband who is the most amazing gift of my life. But I also have a life so incredible that several times a day I wonder if any other human has been so happy, and so blessed. My family is quite small, and I don’t have many truly close friends, but I belong to a network of beautiful Oracles around the world, and a network of beautiful beings from so many realms that I have known for eons. I live with the love of my life who is all I could have dreamed and more, am doing the work I adore, on the magical island of my magical childhood, and I belong to the woods, and the ocean, and the flowers outside my door. I am one of the birds, and the angels, and part of the dirt under my feet.
I am still that little girl. I am still that Pythia leaning over her bowl of water, swishing the juice of laurel leaves in her mouth, the ancient Sexual Priestess and Sacred Prostitute showing someone how to really make love, by the light of low flames. I will stand outside the temple gates, long after the temple has forgotten its purpose, and share with those who seek me. It is what I do, and have always done. It is in my bones.
You have something in your bones too. Something you ache to do, even if you don’t remember what it is yet. I’m here to say, don’t listen to the people who tell you that you can’t do it. Don’t listen to the people who tell you how to damp down your dreams, because anyone who has ever succeeded at anything has had massive, flailing failures and looked like a fool more than once. And editing your bright star might get you somewhere, but is it where you really want to go? I know, you sometimes have to calculate your risks in order to make sure you can still feed your children, or yourself. I did wait until I had some level of good response to my work before I quit my back-up jobs. But I also know that the choice to trust yourself and your beautiful shine is one that comes up a million times a day, in countless ways.
“But I’ve had a lack of inhibition, I’ve had a loss of perspective
I’ve had a little bit to drink and it’s making me think
That I can jump ship and swim, that the ocean will hold me
That there’s got to be more than this boat I’m in…
And they can call me crazy if I fail, all the chance that I need is one in a million, and they can call me brilliant, if I succeed…”
~ Ani Difranco
So it has been eleven years, my dear loves. I share my message on a laptop, rather than from the sacred tripod. I teach into a recording device, rather than having it scribbled on tablets and scrolls. I go to dance parties and bonfires, rather than the ancient sacred tavern of Innana and the ritual fires of the past. I hear the messages from the wind in the trees not with my other temple sisters, but still with my feet on the same earth. And we are gathering again. We are reuniting. We are remembering that we are all Oracles. Thank you for eleven years of beauty, and for all that is to come. And never stop dreaming Oracle, because the world needs dreamers, and the world needs you…
I love you.
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