Saturday, August 9th, 2008
Welcome, dear loved ones and friends, to one step deeper into the time of the greatest change and shift this planet has ever known…to a new Mayan year…a Blue Electric Storm year…to the Portal (read my newest Oracle Message here) opening with this months eclipses, and to both hitting a new apex…a new climax in the energies…and to finding out this is only gearing up for more….how are you? I am…
Stretched…so wide, so far that just when I think I will split and the burning becomes unbearable…I open more, and it begins again. I am…hearing the voice of the Goddess in my ear at every turn…pushing me, asking me to open more and more…and to give more and more. To open my mouth, my body, my heart. To be more and more of everything I am, and to let that living be her message here on Earth…and to be a model for others to do the same.
But it is no small thing to be a mouthpiece for the Goddess…that is for women like Isis and we all know what she went through…and yet each of us, male or female, carries her mantle…and Osiris’s as we are pieced back together by love, over and over again.
We may not be overlooking the black soils of the Nile and teaching a nation to plant corn and hold each other in kindness…but at the same time we are. Our Nile might be a highway, and our temple might be a living room…or any room…or nowhere. We may have little more platform than the space beneath our feet…but we will start from there. That is really all she had as well…
I know that long before I did my work in this very specific way I do it now, I was still doing it. And even when I go out and am surrounded by people who have no idea of what I do, I am doing it then. It is in my being, and only secondarily and by nature in my doing.
Recently we helped when some dear friends had a terrible flood in a portion of their home…we watched the floor come up piece by piece, and pulling out soaked papers, boxes, heirlooms and memories we watched water pour out and off of everything. We salvaged what we could from a life submerged. The futility and the ache seeped into our skin and even brought the water back out of my eyes. There was just nothing that could be done…but to surrender.
I thought about the floods that come into our lives…over and over again…wiping out the things we hold onto, beyond our control…submerging our stories and our treasures, and asking us to surrender, and to trust that somehow this is a cleansing, and something new may be born of the great ships of sunken hopes.
I have been reading old journals…and I confess to being haunted, by the beauty of my own life. I am fascinated by who I have been, and where I have traveled…both literally and within my inner worlds. I am entranced by everything that was lost in the floods of love and time, and by the testimony left by the one survivor…me…left in the time capsule of my heart.
Sometimes I think the flood waters consume each step I’ve made as I lift my foot just in time to escape it…but sometimes there just isn’t a way to think quickly enough and it rushes ahead with the passion of a wise universe and you find yourself drowning in it. And you know, again, and again, and again, that you have to be reborn.
I wonder if we ever get so used to letting go that we don’t even notice anymore that each breath is a leap of faith. I wonder if that is freedom, and fearlessness, and total and complete authenticity and presence. I think so. I have been there, and seem to stop by there often on my way to other places…and on my way home.
Sometimes I even travel inside that place. I take it with me, and it takes me with it…
May you travel in the freedom that only being consumed can give you…and trust the wildfire and the submerging waters that bring you there.
Love, Jennifer
