Lost and Found

by Jennifer on November 21, 2008

Friday, November 21st, 2008

I don’t know what it was that day… perhaps I had been on the computer too long…but somehow I had fallen just a little away from myself. It is amazing to me that it doesn’t take much to find oneself there, and that we don’t often notice that we are out of sync until we get back in…but it is even more incredible to me how easy it is to get back in alignment.

That day, for me, it just took wandering out my front door and into the woods. Suddenly I was singing, without even trying or meaning to. I was making up songs the way we do when we are children. I was watching mushrooms peek out of the corners made of tree stumps and earth. I was delighting at the way cleanly-lit driftwood fell in patterns around my moving body as I stumbled happily onto the beach. I was thrilling on fire-engine red madrona berries bursting out of muted backgrounds. I was alive…in new ways…in seconds.

In the Visionary Oracles Circle recently, an intuition course I am teaching right now, a woman shared that she sometimes has a hard time identifying herself as an “Oracle” because rather than being “one who remembers” she feels like she is more often “one who forgets.” I told her that one who remembers is one who forgets…and remembers and forgets again, and again. Being an Oracle, I said, is in the dance, in the ocean wave, between the two. An Oracle is not just one who remembers, but one who can “travel the worlds” between remembering and forgetting, and help others do the same. Indeed, what distinguishes an Oracle is the desire…the soul-wrenching yearning to remember, no matter how many waves of forgetting come and consume it at times. It is the drive to come back home to oneself, rather than the ability to never leave that space. Oracles are gatherers of experience. They have to understand forgetting in order to help others bridge the worlds, and therefore they have to experience it. It is finding the kernel of remembering in the seed of all things that we seek.

We are lost, and found. We rise, and fall. Like ocean waves we roll in passionately, and recede with grace. Neither is more profound. Like the moon we wax, and wane. The dark time is as powerful as the light. We rejoice in the fullness when it comes, and let go into the next form as we are asked to by our deepest souls. There is no other option but resistance, and resistance to the ocean of the soul is futile. These cycles are not part good and part evil, part right and part wrong, part pretty and part ugly…they are a whole whose greater essence envelopes all of it. It is all right.

So as I move between the other worlds and this one, as I ride the ever-growing waves of intensity and change in the world at this time…as I fluxuate between feeling drawn slightly away from myself, and then back more powerfully than before, I use my best Oracle tools…and they illuminate the way home every time. I just step outside my door into the world of nature, find a way to move my body, laugh, cry, write, sing, speak…I just make an art form of life, of love, and of dancing between the dimensions….embracing even the journeys that seem to take me off track…finding the way they draw a new trail on the map of forgetting…tracing the line from that place to remembering. We are all doing this…re-weaving the remembering this way.

We are, at one moment, like Echo…the nymph who could never make her own words but only repeat those said to her, and at the next like Narcissus, only seeing our reflection in one place and too lost in it to see anything more. But there is always the moment we look up and see the sky again, knowing our reflection is something much bigger…and then the voice we lost is ours again, and the trip across the stream to what we yearn for is very short.

Here is to being lost, and found.

Love, Jennifer

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