by Jennifer on April 13, 2008

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

Perhaps when we are at our most vulnerable we are also at our most powerful.

Why we shrink from our naked beauty and reach quickly to cover it up as soon as we find it, I do understand. It is hard to walk through the world of things with hard shells without one. Even in one’s inner worlds it feels compromising and exposed to be so soft and formless. We seek form and structure, and though these are ultimately helpful when we need a foundation to grow from and be supported by, all forms and structures begin in the formless…all invulnerabilities are born from being vulnerable.

I have often commented that insecurity gets a bad name. Usually when we speak of it we are referring to the chronic insecurity that is debilitating to our healthy confidence and authenticity. But some exploration of insecurity is necessary in order to find what feels truly secure to us. Because true security is ever-changing and flexible. We must waver between secure and insecure to continue to know ourselves in each moment.

Not being sure of ourselves can be an incredibly powerful resource, because our vulnerability usually means we have just shed a skin. We are new, and we have new potentials awaiting us. And yet this is the moment we are overwhelmed by sensation and insecurity, and immediately want to shut down…to find the new form and name it prematurely. We are afraid to just wait…and trust…and let the new form emerge.

Most of us have been taught that vulnerability is weak, even dangerous. But vulnerability can be pure alchemy. It can be the entryway to the void…the place of all the energies of creation.

So many times we have all had layers peeled away. It becomes hard to imagine that this could continue, and intensify. And yet if we know this is only refining us, and making us lighter and ultimately more alive, we may better survive these passages of fire. Still, when we begin to feel we are losing grip on reality and on all that is left of our identity, the tendency is to grab hold of something for dear life and refuse to let go. We are seeking safety, shelter, but we don’t realize there is safety even in the storm as well as in its passage.

This is a time of great change, both this decade and this particular moment in time. It is a time of losing grip on reality, but this is because reality is changing. It is also a time of losing identity, but only for the sake of finding something truer. Trust yourself. You know exactly what to do and how to move through these moments with a wild and burning heart that long ago left your control, and yet knows the way better than you ever imagined…if you but trust it. Beyond reason, there is an endless field of flowers radiant in the sun and breezes, and you can never be lost there. You are always found.

You are not alone. When you are vulnerable you are most open to the support of the universe, and to new energies. Decide that the more confusing or challenging things are right now, the greater the blessings that follow will be. Good things are coming…be soft with yourself and so understanding. Treat yourself with the utmost love and tenderness, and ride the waves in any way you know how.

With love from my heart to yours…


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