To Those Who are Great of Heart

by Jennifer on August 13, 2009

golden-doorWednesday, August 12th, 2009

Tonight I want to write to all the lovers of the world.  I don’t mean just those people who have lovers.  I mean people who deeply love.  For when you are great of heart, you love deeply always.  You love a lover deeply, but many other things as well.  For you love people and so much more.  You are deeply in love at all times…with places, times, memories, and so many things…you are never done loving.  The ocean is your lover, as is the summer sun and the heavy rain and all that you have ever loved before.  It is all welcomed into the great rambling chambers of your unquenched heart.  For if it were ever quenched you would not have room for more love…and to those of great heart there must always be room for more.

It won’t always be this way.  It is how we stretch the bounds of the human heart that makes it hurt so much.  It is a different model from a land that is a world apart from the one you know…oh lovers.  And only you know that yes, it is grand to be so, but it is also unavoidably bound to heartache.  Not just the kind that comes when you lose a lover the way others might.  For since you have lovers everywhere, in the trees and in the pages of your books, and in the light reflected on the water…heartache is something you experience every day.  You live as much, in this world and time, in a sea of heartache as you do in a sea of love.  It is inevitable still.

You brave ones.  You lovers.  I know you can’t help it or so many times you would have.  I know.

For the truth is all the land is the land of your great heart.  And the truth is that even when you dislike, there is a corner of your heart where you know you are one with what you dislike, though so importantly different from it.  And again the ship of your heart creaks and cracks and finally wrecks anew on some foreign shore.  And again you start a life from almost nothing.  And again you build a ship to navigate those seas of great love, almost laughing bittersweetly at the effort.  Sleeping only slightly in your cabin sometimes for a night or two…rocked by the waves that you know will ultimately consume you, again and again.

But always you know that there is no other life you could lead.  Sometimes you daydream of what it is like for the ones who make their lives in the high towers of the distant skyline.  You imagine the comfort of their removal and the safety of their corners…so quiet…the roar of the ocean so far away it is just a whisper.  But then you realize you would only spend your life sitting by a window looking at the far-off sea…dreaming of the love you could no longer feel.  The ache would be deafened by the numbness at too dear a price.

So you fasten your bones to their muscle and tendons and you beg your heart to beat on.  You wake each day to prepare to have further tender walls in your heart pulled away by the great tide.  You wonder if you will be able to hold anything at all there when it is done.  Yet somehow, at the moment of greatest destruction, a light of such new and sweet beauty spills in and you are so redeemed that tears nor ecstasy can express it.  You fall.

And then you fall in love again.  For you are a lover…oh you of great heart.  And I want you to know that you are not alone in the sweetest and hardest of all journeys a soul can choose.  You, like I, know that someday, no matter how you doubt it when the dark nights are too long and too cold, that someday the seas will quiet…and there will be both the peace and the passion that you only glimpse now at moments of wild revelation between rockings and wreckages and being born again and again.  And it will be a peace that didn’t come from denying anything within you, or denying yourself anything.

I will see you there someday.  Hold on until then.  Keep loving, oh you of great heart.  You are the hope of the world, and the heart of the universe rushing with love.  You are creation, and you will be the ones to find the nectar of bliss beyond the realms of heaven and hell, and bring it back to the world to taste, and to drink from once again.

Love, Jennifer

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