Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
In the time since I last wrote you the world that is my life has turned many times. It has left me speechless, so trying to write about it is all the more difficult.
I think that we presume that death happens only once. Or, for those of us who know what spiritual death is like, we experience it several times at very pivotal periods of our lives. But I have come to conclude that death is as continuous as breathing, and living, and existing. There is a death for every occurrence of life, be it a thought or a gesture or an experience. But it is as beautiful and rich as life itself.
It is by avoiding the energies of death that we shut out an entire aspect of our creation and our power. It is by avoiding endings that we slow down new beginnings. We can never know what we are losing or gaining until it is revealed to us, and so often things are not what they appear to be. That is why trust is our best friend. It is the eyes for our blindness.
Your light is only as powerful as the acknowledgement of its darkness. For the light came from the darkness when all things began. The biggest releif is finding out there really aren’t any monsters in your big, dark closet. But that is not the scary part anyway. The scary part is opening the door to find out.
When you cease being attached to your identity you embrace the power of the constant death and it becomes your ally rather than your enemy. Since your identity is something you bring around with you, like a hand-bag, it means it is something you must always remember and put energy into carrying. When you are not afraid anymore, it becomes a natural manifestation of who you are in each moment.
When you crush the last grit of stone in your soul you are left with the paint that makes the sky blue and the ocean green. Grinding your soul smooth is absolutely terrifying, but the surest ticket to freedom I know. It starts with not running from the scariest parts of what you think you might be, or hope that you aren’t. It starts with finding out that life and death are one and there is nothing to run from. Then you get to decide what you would like to run to instead, and life becomes the experience of open arms awaiting your every choice.
