Tuesday, September 4th, 2012
They come in glimpses…the memories. Laying on a stone table, my body being rubbed with herbs and oils in a dark room beneath the temple, under the earth, only my waist jewelry on my body. I remember the feeling of the way my body was revered…held sacred…
In another, I am wearing only a black, veil-like fabric around my waist, one of the sacred colors of the Goddess, and I am levitating near a temple wall covered in carvings, with my arms out to the sides of my body…a position held as powerful long before it represented a cross.
In yet another I am in a room filled with light, and the open windows show the brilliant blue of the ocean, and bring in its sweet, soft breezes. I am in ecstasy, as I was as a nymph, and it is this ecstasy I and my Priestess sisters embody that ensure the community of harmony in the land. It is their mission, the mission the entire community is in support of, in that sacred temple only to make sure that the women are pleasured. Can you imagine a place like that?
My most beloved memories of all of my memories of lifetimes as a Sacredly Sexual Priestess are those of being a nymph, in constant waves of bliss, completely at one with nature, fully enlightened and in total abandon, surrounded by other beings who knew their own magic. It was a different earth, but it is also the same earth, and as far-fetched as it may seem, we will be returning to these ways. It starts with one woman at a time, and the people of other genders who support them. For we will all know bliss again as a result of the feminine knowing her own pleasure again. Women will open the gateway for the feminine within us all.
For years when I used to do readings, mostly with women, whenever I would use a word like ecstasy in relationship to life on this earth I would get the same response…essentially that it sounded like a pipe dream. Something they had never or rarely felt, and had once wanted but had given up on. It seemed as far-fetched as skipping among the stars. It felt out of reach, and they spoke of it from deep in the chasm of its absence. I had already dedicated my life to teaching the ancient traditions of the Oracles: self-love, intuition and sacred sexuality…the ancient feminine practices of ecstasy. Speaking to those women only fueled my fire even more. I felt their thirst and I knew just what would quench it…I know just where to find the ancient and ever-bubbling spring.
For once upon a time, it was our daily bread. Ecstasy wasn’t something we had to reach for, or work hard to sustain. It was our way of life. We could never forget or lose it because we were in constant rhythm with it, it was under each footfall as we danced, in every song, surrounding us in nature. But most intimately of all it was in our bodies. It was as close as our heartbeats.
I know the grief that can come of even thinking of these times, especially when one has none or few of these feelings and experiences now. Sometimes it is so painful that we would rather imagine that it is only something that we will experience after this life, just to avoid coming to terms with the fact that we have been separate from these ways. But we also do this because we think we cannot know them in this life…and I am here to state the truth that we can.
There is still a moon above us, waxing and waning. There is still music. We just have to remember how to dance. How to laugh. How to feel and trust our bodies again. How to feel pleasure. And just as was true then, one of the supportive ways to do this is to have a sisterhood or community around us who is doing the same. (Of course, you may feel a deep sense of betrayal or rejection around sisterhood because of experiences in this life or prior ones when we were turned against each other to dissipate the power, but it is the time for that healing as well so that we may once again know such sweetness.) That’s why I created my courses the way I did, but even if you are on your own and have no idea how to draw others like you, simply begin the change within. You will draw them to you, one at a time. It will take patience, but you will be uplifted by your own changes and signs of progress in your life as you wait.
What if I told you that this is the missing link? Woman’s pleasure and celebration of her body is the presence and embodiment of the Goddess, and that that sacred feminine is the exact medicine, the perfect healing balm, for all the ravages of the world? What if I told you that that is also the personal missing link? The missing ecstatic experience of love which we were innately designed to know is the reason for low energy, a lack of a sense of purpose in life, inability to connect to one’s intuition, difficulty finding and connecting with kindred spirits and lovers, lack of creative inspiration, and so much more spiraling all the way into despair.
Don’t get me wrong…there are other reasons for despair in our lives that can be powerful and healing. But even despair and other necessary-to-the-soul’s-growth difficulties in this life can be experienced differently from a place of being sourced… You see, women are walking around in this world with their plugs trailing along behind them. They could be plugged into the greatest power source in the universe (themselves) but they inherited the disconnection handed down to them by their mothers, who received it from theirs, going back to the time when the war on women’s power began.
I know it can be scary to stand up and stand out…to plug in and turn on. After all, the trauma of the silencing pulses through our blood, also handed down from those who died or were mistreated for being sexual women…for being powerful women. But there is something on the other side of that fear. Something glorious beyond all your dreams. In fact, it is the place you have spent your life striving to arrive at and feeling just one hand’s-width away from. All that stands between you and it is forbidden fruit. All that stands between you and it is an apple. All you have to do is trust the serpent power within and pick it.
All that stands between you and it is flying in the face of convention. Audacity. Feathers flying. Moon madness and self-trust and the embrace of all the shamed parts. I know it may seem impossible to reach sometimes, but it all starts with bare feet on soft grass or being washed in a creek at twilight. It all starts with your senses and letting yourself pleasurably explore and expand them. Ecstasy is literally at our fingertips. It is all about whether we can allow ourselves to see and feel and receive pleasure again in our lives. Whether we could even consider allowing ourselves to actually live a life of pleasure, or whether we are holding that possibility at bay even as we create our dream boards and desire lists and wonder why we can’t seem to manifest what we want.
It is the one area of focus that can change literally everything about your life.
I remember the way we felt when we danced. The level of pleasure the body can experience is so far beyond what most people even have any idea of, and we felt those untold levels of pleasure just moving our bodies, together in a room of warm-colored stone where beams of light crossed the thin fabrics across our swaying hips, and our ecstatically enlightened, beautifully smiling faces. We were one then. One and yet radiantly unique. There were no doubts. There were no losses. We weren’t ships without compasses. We danced to a rhythm that we could always feel. I feel it now. If you didn’t before, perhaps you feel it reading these words, or perhaps you have located something just as holy…the yearning for it. That yearning will lead you if you let it. If you let the gaping hole of your pain consume you, it will be replaced by fire. The fire that knows. It knows the way. It is your fire.
I will see you all again there, I know, faces lit and smiling. Ecstatic and wise beyond all measure. I will see you there again, in that place where the body is loved and pleasure is known and we thrum with the beat of nature…our own nature. We will walk where the dew is still heavy, and we will play among the stars.
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(To play among the stars, know ecstasy, pleasure in the body and in life, connect with your serpent power, to remember your past lifetimes as a Sacredly Sexual Priestess and learn those sacred ways…)