Wednesday, February 19th, 2014
Hello Lover. I know that’s all you want to be. I know that’s all you are. And I know the world sometimes makes you this lover, but has often squelched your last hopes of knowing yourself this way instead. I know sometimes you feel like you are gasping, or wondering how much longer you can hold your breath…and that some part of you isn’t sure if you remember how to breathe at all. This isn’t the way it ends. You will be woken by your own kiss…
I know you’re scared. Hell, I am too sometimes. But I’ve never let that stop me and I’ll be damned if I will now. It’s scary that we’re finally at the moment when we could truly crack open. We’ve wished for this day, and dreaded it. We’ve thought we were there so many times, and almost given up hope. And now it’s here, and even if things are well in our lives we know there is a part of us pressed to the ground, on our knees, hands tied. It’s our original wound place. And every night we’ve prayed for the dam to finally blow, because the pressure is cracking our bones, but now that it might we’re not sure we can take it. Will the water really rush over us and flush everything away? And more importantly, is it really okay to be that free?
It had to come…this moment. We’ve been building toward this shift on the earth, with wave after wave of transformational energy rolling through…sometimes slamming us to the wall and sometimes running soft fingers along our heart and changing everything with a whisper. And while this isn’t the end of these waves, we can’t progress further…those of us who are ready to…until we crack open in a bigger way than we ever have.
So I’m here to give you courage today, and I am fitting for the job because I remember back to before time began, and I have seen many worlds fall and be reborn. And none shall be as beautiful as this new world. And it begins with the seed in our hands. The seed that has been sprouting in our dreams. The seed that will truly take root when we crack open and the waters reach it at last, and it can finally reach the light of the sun.
Because we were meant to shine like suns, and not just when we reach some fabled perfection or die…but now…we are perfect suns right now, and we can live our lives from that place. We are returning to a diet of ecstasy…the breath and nourishment of joy, but we have to re-learn how to live first. From our hearts, and, most importantly now, from our bodies…
I came into the world in a sensitive body with an easily upset digestive system. That, coupled with childhood trauma, some unfortunate toxicity, and a few other things, led me to have a condition that caused my stress system to become hyperactive. Such a small handful of words to describe something that makes you feel like you are disintegrating, literally.
Luckily, I am also a being of almost omnipresent potential, access to full cosmic awareness, remembrance of my entire soul journey, and infinite power and awareness, and my lifelong self-love and connection served me well through the years I spent healing from this condition.
But wait…you say…wouldn’t someone enlightened not even have struggles? Not even have health issues or suffering? Sadly, this is one of the splits we have created, along with sexual/spiritual, bodily/spiritual, earthly/spiritual, and many others. We believe suffering is a sign that we are unevolved.
I have two favorite new images for enlightenment I like to talk about. What we’ve got now (in mainstream thought) is the bearded dude on a chair, the martyr on the cross, and, at best, the very calm dude under the bodhi tree. (Of course there are many exquisite, somewhat lesser known images of divinity as well.) My two additions to these pictures of enlightenment are a woman in the midst of orgasm, and the picture of Isis as an old Hag wailing by the Nile.
We usually hold the “pretty”, “shining”, “graceful” image of the Egyptian Goddess Isis. And yes, she came into the world as a fully aware divinity, totally enlightened. And yes, she became even more fully realized, and part of that was her suffering when Osiris died. Yes, she was enlightened, and suffering was part of it. This doesn’t mean there isn’t a place in enlightenment that is free from pain…oh yes, there is. It just means that once you are enlightened that isn’t necessarily the only place you want to hang out. There is still more to the journey for some. And only for those who are most brave and who most desire to know even more. (“Know” in the sense of heart knowing, soul knowing.)
You see, it’s said that Isis grieved so painfully that she turned into an “old Hag” that no one could even recognize. She paced along the Nile in sacred madness, pulling her long gray hair out in chunks, her teeth fell out, and no one even wanted anything to do with her. They couldn’t even see the Goddess they had revered. But it was through this fully feeling her experience that she accessed the power to bring Osiris back from the dead. It was through suffering that she accessed the kind of magic we all consider to be the greatest of all. And it was through that same magic that she accessed immaculate conception. She, even enlightened, had to die to herself in the most harrowing of ways, to be able to give life back to death, and to bring life from the very depths of her own being.
Spirit and body one. Human and divine, one. Emotion and enlightenment, one. She didn’t deny herself, didn’t turn from herself just because her experience took her to a place that looked ugly, or even horrifying. She claimed it, and felt it until there was no more. And that she walked by the Nile represents that she knew how to stay close to the source of what fed her, even as she went to the furthest reaches of pain.
I’ve read a lot about the stress response over the years of healing my body. There is always the story of how our stress response was designed to be triggered by the quintessential “tiger” we might have needed to run from in prehistoric times…and then let go. How our amygdala signals the adrenals to pump out the hormones that fuel our fight or flight (or freeze response,) but that it’s meant to be a short term solution to a problem and in the modern times our bodies and minds perceive many things throughout the day as a stressor like a tiger running toward us…bills, an angry family member, car troubles, deadlines…you name it. So our stress response never stops running. The health impact is massive and it is incredibly worth discovering how to reduce stress in your life and body…I was forced to, down to seeking out any active stressors even from my past, and I am so glad. I had to clean my house more than most people do by necessity, and it is a very worthwhile endeavor.
Part of the beauty of my situation is that I knew why it was happening to me. One of the reasons I teach people how to connect with their intuition is that it’s not so much the insights into the future as the insights into your right now that change your life in the most powerful ways. The reason I went through this pain in this life is because I had been on a mission to carry my message for so long, through trial after trial during what I call in my book, The Oracle Within: Living the Intuitive Life, “The Great Forgetting”, that this was the first lifetime I could let go and feel all the pain of it. Again, only for the brave are journeys like these, and I would never change anything about it.
What does all of this have to do with you? Everything, you brave soul. I know what you’ve made it through, in this life and before, to make it where you are…and all you’ve held onto, and all you’ve let go of, for the sake of your mission. And I know sometimes you judge yourself, for having traversed the underworld, for having roamed and wailed along the Nile. But this is of sacred beauty beyond all description. And it’s time now to let it all open wide up. It’s time to crack and let it all flow out.
I know…it’s a process like a blossom. Letting go doesn’t really happen all at once. And it happens, in increments, just exactly when you are ready and the moment is absolutely perfect…whether it seems perfect or not. I just wanted to give you a heads up…and tell you more about the tigers. Because it’s time to stop running from them and turn around and face them. It may be the hardest thing you ever do, but I have some great news for you. Long ago, when you turned and ran, it was with good reason. You were running for your life. But now it isn’t your tigers you are running from, not them you are afraid of but their cages. When you face them you will find them bound…it is your animal self that is hurt and caged. When you have been brave enough to turn around you will know just how to set them free. And you will run wild with them, again. Your animal self, in union with your deep soul self, will be set free too.
In thinking about being healthy again, I imagined what I wanted as a visual and I saw myself sleeping with tigers. I had brown hair and wore a blue silk dress, and I lay on a lush floor with these huge, beautiful creatures pressed up against me. It was as sensual and rich as it could be. It is a symbol of our homecoming…coming home to our bodies, to our animal within, home to ourselves after our great journeys. It’s time to be able to lay down with what once scared us, and feel more at peace than we ever have before.
Trust that your animal body will show you…everything. Trust that your tears by the Nile have not been in vain, and will bring magic and new life to you. Trust that your tigers, when uncaged, will run with you to all the free places, and warm your body through every dark night. I love you, and you are never alone, and there is so much pure, new goodness to come…
Love,
Jennifer
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© 2014 Jennifer Posada. All rights reserved. www.jenniferposada.com You may make copies of this message and distribute in any media as long as you change nothing, credit the author, and include this copyright notice and web address.
Love You All!
Jennifer
